The world according to Jen...

Peter Pan, why is Frankfurt so sleazy?

2009-03-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

All,

I have shamed myself into writing a new blog post. I didn't realize it had been two months. It's been so long you've probably forgotten I even have a blog... I know I did.

There's been a lot going on, but I'm going to stick to one story at a time.

Enter Peter Pan.

Okay, so as most of you know Valentine's Day was about three weeks ago. Being the much-too-clever for my own good kind of girlfriend, I decided to give Nate something we could BOTH enjoy...tickets to Peter Pan, the British musical.

Now some of you may be thinking something along the lines of LAME, but we like going to see musicals so you can uh...stuff it.

Anyway, the musical was showing at an English theater in Frankfurt so I booked tickets to the show and a hotel for the night. The only time we hang out in Frankfurt is when we're going to or from the airport so I thought this would be a good opportunity to see the city. Did I mention I'm much too clever for my own good?

So fast forward to the end of February and the day of the show. Our goal was to get up early and spend the day walking around Frankfurt, but we still haven't mastered the getting up early part. There's something about getting up before 10 a.m. on a weekend that just doesn't settle right...

We finally leave around noonish and make our way to Frankfurt. Check in is at 2 p.m. so this really works out perfectly. Nate volunteers to drive, which is probably a wise decision. I know my driving makes him nervous - he probably wouldn't admit this, but since he refers to my car as a "coffin on wheels" it's probably a safe bet that me behind the wheel gives him some anxiety.

Anyway, he gets left to the task of navigating a new city - lucky me - but he manages to get us to the hotel using the GPS. Unfortunately, there isn't any parking in front of the hotel so we miss the building and do a loop around the city.

This is loop one.

We make our way back and there's an open spot in front of the hotel. We check in and haul our bags up to the room. The room is nice, but definitely more modern than what we're used to. There was mood lighting so you could change the colors to orange or blue and the shower was half the length of the room with glass walls. Interesting...

After dumping our stuff, we head back downstairs to find the parking garage. The front desk clerk tells us to take the first left and we'll come to two garage doors. We should put the key in the left door and it will open.

Hmmm...

We follow the directions to the tee. We make the first left, come up to the doors and Nate tries to put the key in. Key word being "tries". The key doesn't fit.

Thinking we had the wrong garage we get back in the car and make the next left. This leads to another loop around the city.

This is loop number two.

We call the hotel and ask for better directions. They tell us the exact same thing they told us before.
They think we are stupid.

We come back to the hotel, make a left and go back to the original garage doors. By this time, Nate is not a happy camper. He's been driving all over the city in lousy traffic and has deemed my planning skills "poor". He gives me the key so I can try the garage door.

I put the key in the slot and the door opens.

Yes, the exact same door we tried earlier now works. Must be a woman's touch...

Fortunately for me, my boyfriend has a sense of humor.

Fortunately for him, we could walk everywhere and wouldn't need to stay sober to drive. We head to the bar.

The next few events are well...uneventful. We visit an Irish pub and have a beer and watch a rugby game. The Scots were playing. Funny, they didn't look like any of my romance novel covers.

Then we headed down the main shopping area and grabbed sushi for dinner. It's also probably worth noting that we were a crosswalk away from the red light district. Which essentially means, we were rubbing elbows with the sleazier part of town.

Peep shows, sex shops, men in trench coats, potential pimps and a bonafide cat fight in the middle of the sidewalk.

Never let anyone tell you Frankfurt is anything but class.

After sidestepping the drug dealers we made our way to the theater. It's been ages since I've seen any version of Peter Pan so I was super-stoked for the show. We were a few minutes early so we grabbed a few drinks at the theater bar.

This is when things got a little weird.

Red flag number one - there was a bake sale on one side of the bar. Not only were they selling pretzels and cookies, they were also selling tinkerbell wings. Hmm...Now this could be explained because we thought a lot of kids would show up for the show...right?

Red flag number two - The theater was bursting at the seams with kids. Not just one or two, but LOTS. Hmmm...well, Peter Pan is a kid's story...right?

Red flag number three - The back of the program has a photo of all the castmembers...and they're all under the age of 17.. Uh oh.

As it turns out, in my excitement to purchase tickets I didn't realize the show was being done by a kids drama school, not a British touring group.

Oops...

Lucky for me, my boyfriend is tough. Despite the fact that he sat next to two little girls the entire time and despite the fact they kept touching his leg and spilling cheerios in his lap, he still had a good time. Despite the fact that the acting left something to be desired and the adults next to us gave us dirty looks when we didn't stand up and chant "we believe in fairies", he still kept a smile on his face.

No, really - I jest, but we had an amazing time. I mean come on - your girlfriend buys you tickets to a musical thinking it will be a romantic evening out on the town and it turns out the musical is actually a student play and you're surrounded by kids for two hours with your tipsy girlfriend who chugged two huge beers at the bar when she realized she didn't plan very well -- you can't plan memories this great!

Anyway, we both uh.. took advantage of the bar and really enjoyed ourselves.

Afterward, we went back to the hotel and passed out. We woke up in the middle of the night, but couldn't figure out how to turn the lights out. It gives the "how many people does it take to screw in a light bulb" joke a whole new meaning.

The next morning we had bagel sandwiches and tea close to the stripping zone. Talk about a wake up call :)

And since nothing in Germany is open on Sunday (seriously, when do these people get anything done?), we went back to Heidelberg and spent the afternoon walking down the hauptstrasse and up by the river.

Final outcome? Frankfurt: 0, Jen's planning skills: 0.5, Musical: 6, Overall memory? 10 :)

Cheers!
Jen

On my way to Vegas

2008-12-20T07:20:00.000-08:00

All,

Since I'm suffering from a case of jetlag, I thought I would take a few minutes to update my blog. What better way to fill the void than to tell you about my flight to Vegas.

My vacation really started Wednesday night. I figure once you leave work for the last time, you start your vacation. Carlten was also flying out Thursday morning so we decided to drive to the airport together. They picked me up around 7 and made our way back to their house. We were up until about 11 playing Super Mario Kart on Wii -- tell me that's not the beginning of a vacation!

The next morning we left about 630 for the airport in Frankfurt. Their flight left at 940 and mine was scheduled to leave at 1140. Yeah, I would have some time to kill, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about how I was going to get to the airport. I was actually so early they wouldn't even let me check in at the counter yet.

After Carlten checked in, we went upstairs for breakfast - McDonald's of course -- hey, the golden arches are universal.

Shortly after, they went through security and I went back to the counter. They still weren't checking in my flight, but I found a "bag drop" for people who had checked in online (yay!) and they were more than happy to take care of me.

My next stop was passport control. They asked me several questions because I was traveling on my tourist passport, but had entered the country on an official passport. Eventually, they let me through and I spent the next half an hour entertaining myself with duty free shopping.

After I got tired of shopping, I went through security and settled in for a long wait. Fortunately, I had a book with me. And of course, I talked to Nate for awhile. He was getting ready for his trip to Malta.

Eventually, I get on the plane and start the 10 hour trip to Ohio. The flight wasn't so bad. I was about halfway back on the plane, but in the aisle seat. They showed several movies, though none of them were very good. I mean, could we get a best picture winner or something?

I couldn't sleep so I spent most of the time reading....and ignoring the girl next to me. She was really sick and was throwing up in those airplane bags half the trip. She didn't want to get up so she just hurled in the chair next to me. I had to put in my earplugs and discreetly put my fingers under my nose. I'm a sympathetic puker - everyone's lucky I didn't start hurling in the aisle.

Naturally, our plane is running late and I only have 50 minutes to get through customs and on my connecting flight to Vegas. Most of the people on my flight were in the same boat -- I mean c'mon, who really wants to go to Ohio?

So I spend 20 minutes or so waiting to get through the passport control folks -- naturally, I picked the wrong line. It took FOREVER to get through everything. Then I had to pick up my bag (which wasn't out yet) and take it to the baggage handlers so they could transfer it to my next flight. Then I had to wait in line to go through security again.

Tell me why we have to go through security again? I went straight from the airplane, to passport control, to baggage and straight back to security. Where the hell would I have gotten a knife or gun?

Anyway, I start to get frustrated because I'm running out of time. Then I really get frustrated when people start ducking under the ropes and cutting people in line. I almost made a scene, but decided not to piss off karma. Instead, I told the TSA guy (who must've been all of 18) what was going on and told him to handle it.

So I'm standing there in my socks waiting for my bag to come out of the security machine and then I hear the words I was dreading come over the pa system.

"Final call for flight 37 to Las Vegas at gate B11"

Oh shit.

Where am I? Am I even close to B11?

Fortunately, I see a sign for my gate. I pick up my stuff and I make a break for it. I even ran up the escalator.

Keep in mind I'm in my socks.

I almost fell because the floor was so slick. But damn, I was determined to make my flight!

I made it to the gate just in time and was one of the last people to board. Some of the other people from my original flight got lucky and ran up behind me.

This flight was uneventful. I tried to sleep since I was in a window seat and I probably dozed off and on for about an hour. To kill the other three hours, I watched E! Specifically, Snoop Dogg's reality tv show and True Hollywood Story Clay Aiken.

Hey, all I have at home is German cable. It was fine by me.

A gazillion hours later, I safely arrive in Vegas and for good measure, so does my bag!

My dad picked me up at the airport and I was greeted with homemade chicken and dumplings. Sigh - it's good to be home.

For the record, by the time I got home it was 3 a.m. in Germany, which means I was traveling for almost 24 hours. I was in desperate need of a shower!

Since then, I've been hanging out at home in my pajamas. Although, I did go to DSW yesterday and buy new shoes. I mean, a real shoe store! It's all so overwhelming!

Today, I'm tackling the mall. I can barely wait.

Cheers,
Jen

Thanksgiving in Germany

2008-12-02T12:51:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking about it and I just spent my very first Thanksgiving somewhere other than the US. Spending the holiday away from my family wasn’t a big deal because it’s rare I’m with my parents on Thanksgiving anyway, but I’ve never been in another country. And you know what?

It wasn’t a big deal.

It’s just like another day. Sure, all of the Americans talk about Thanksgiving, but I live downtown and don’t have AFN on my TV. My exposure to the holiday was limited. Although, we did have a traditional Thanksgiving lunch at the dining facility the Wednesday before the holiday.

Since we had a four-day weekend, Nate and I went to Garmisch for some down time. No agendas, no itineraries, no work – it was bliss :)

We drove down Wednesday night and after a brief glitch in our plans (tell me why they would shut down an entire highway and not put up detour signs??) we arrived in Garmisch. We stayed at Edelweiss, which is a DoD resort, so there were military folks everywhere. The resort was hosting a big Thanksgiving feast the next day so I think a lot of folks drove in for the festivities.

Anyway, we were pretty tired so we called it an early night. The next day we went to Neuschwanstein Castle, which is one of King Ludwig’s four castles. It sits on top of a huge hill and it looks like the Disney World castle, not like a traditional medieval castle with a moat. In fact, they said Walt Disney designed his castle based on this one.

During the tour, we learned that the castle was never completed. Once the king died, construction ceased. It was actually only about a third of the way finished and we were only allowed to see completed rooms. The rooms we saw were amazing. The attention to detail and the sheer glitz of the rooms was incredible. I mean, we may paint our living room wall blue, but they would paint it blue and add a mural and thousands of hand drawn snowflakes. It was borderline ridiculous.

But hey, nobody wants to pay to see plain blue walls.

Besides, the whole thing is charming. Not to mention the views from atop the mountain. You can see for miles. You may be wondering how we got up to the castle (or maybe you don’t care – pssh) and t here are a couple of options. You can take a bus, you can walk (it’s approx 40 mins uphill) or you can take a horse and carriage.

There wasn’t a bus available at the time and it was way too cold to walk so we opted for the horse and carriage. I know you’re all thinking how sappy this sounds, but you ride with a bunch of people so it wasn’t just the two of us canoodling in the back or anything.

After the castle we did some shopping in town. My new kick is tea shops. I like being able to smell all of the different blends and pick my own – kind of like coffee I guess. Anyway, we spent a substantial amount of time in one of the tea shops and walked out with a new orange tea. I’m ready to try it, but have decided to wait for Nate. I know, I’m so polite :)

Although it was Thanksgiving, we passed on the feast at the resort and went to a quaint German restaurant. Thanksgiving really isn’t about the food anyway – it’s about who you’re with –

The next day was “my day”. This meant sleeping in and lots of shopping. We started around lunch time and I had to stop at the PX. Nate was nice enough to point out that it was Black Friday and I wasn’t at home. Boo.

I did find some North Face ski pants at the PX though. I know, I know – Jen on a pair of skis? What’s the world coming to? But I am determined to learn! Anyway, I bought some ski stuff and we ran in Carlten, who also happened to be doing the exact same thing. We’ll have to plan a ski trip for next year.

Afterward, we went downtown and did some shopping. Then Nate remembered he saw an ice skating rink on the map and we went in search of the arena. Actually, we more or less stumbled onto it. This led to about an hour or so of ice skating inside. I fully explained that I don’t ice skate. I can barely walk (which I proved repeatedly as I tripped over cobblestones and stepped on him). But he was convinced I would be fine.

To be fair, the ice was really choppy. It felt like the zamboni hadn’t smoothed the ice in hours and it was easy to get caught in someone else’s grooves. But believe it or not, I didn’t fall. There were a couple of scares, but the Lord looks after fools and he made sure I stayed upright. It was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I think we may go ice skating at the Christmas market this weekend. Maybe these folks will believe in zambonies.

On Saturday, we went to the highest peak in Germany, the Zugspitze, which is part of the Alps. We rode a cable car to the top, which wasn’t too bad…most of the time…Every once in awhile the car would hit an area of the cable that would make your stomach drop, just like being on a roller coaster. Needless to say, I didn’t look down.

And of course, my mind works in weird ways. For example, when we got to the top, the guy who runs the car had to open the window and do something to make sure the car was secure. Tell me why my first thought was– oh hell, what if this guy has a death wish? Maybe he wants to commit suicide and he’s taking us down with him? Why did we pick this doomed car to get on? Fate is a cruel beast… -- Okay, by this time, we’re all safely getting off the car, but it makes you wonder.

Is my mind twisted because of the books I read? Or is it society? With all the bombings and terrorist attacks and high school shootings you can just never be sure what someone’s true intentions are, you know? I blame the media. HAHAHAHAHA – that was for my public affairs family.

Anyway, we make it to solid ground and I venture a peek down the route we just came up. After a brief wave of nausea I decide it’s a good idea to quit torturing myself. Especially since we have to take another cable car down to the next level where the runs are.

It’s really crowded because the season just started. In fact, half of the mountain wasn’t open yet because there wasn’t enough snow. We’re just there for sight-seeing this time so we walked around a bit and stopped for hot chocolate – you know, freeze in the snow... We only spent a couple of hours up there, but it was gorgeous. It increased my resolve to learn how to ski.

On the way back down we took the train, which actually runs through the mountain. So naturally, my thoughts are something like – I wonder what’s going to happen if the mountain caves in? Would it be quick and painless or would we suffocate? I know they’re talking about emergency exits, but let’s get real, could we get to them? – Yeah, it was a long ride down the mountain.

At which point, Nate decides to share that he thinks the mountain would be an easy terrorist target.

Thank the Lord he didn’t mention that until we were off the mountain.

I swear.

Since it’s mid-afternoon we decide to head back to his place in Sulzbach because it’s going to take a few hours to get home and we really didn’t want to drive in the dark. We got back safely and just relaxed. Sometimes it’s just nice to lounge and check email and watch movies.

The next day we met up with Archegan at the big Christmas market in Nurnberg. It was ridiculously crowded and I was glad we only stayed a couple of hours. Although my Belgian waffle in the shape of a heart was well worth the trip.

From there our group had to split up. Megan and I were driving back to Heidelberg, Archie was going to pick up their new puppy and Nate was headed home.

But first, we had to find our car.

And I have a poor sense of direction.

We decide to leave the gang in one area and walk to our car so I can get my bags. Since Nate was listening to me, we went the wrong way and had to backtrack. I don’t think he’ll make that mistake again.

Once we were headed in the right direction (I still thought it was wrong – pssh) we started running into a bad part of town. We were where all of the whore houses are located. Say what?!

All along our left-hand side there were windows facing the street. In each window there was a woman on a stool (usually reading a magazine out of boredom) waiting for some guy to purchase her services. It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t help but look. Nate kept telling me to quit making eye contact, but I couldn’t help myself!

I mean, some of these women must’ve been 60 years old. Anyway, eventually I was able to tear my eyes away. Mainly because it was sad. I can’t imagine living a lifestyle like that. Sad.

Anyway, we make it to the car eventually and Megan and I head back to Heidelberg. Overall, it was a fantastic weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Cheers,
Jen

PS – Okay so ending a Thanksgiving blog by talking about whore houses isn’t exactly in the holiday spirit, but hey – whores are people too!

The wait continues

2008-12-02T12:49:00.000-08:00

Still waiting for TKS more than a month later…

So I’m sitting in my semi-frigid apartment waiting yet again for those damn TKS bastards to show up. This time, they’re coming to install an outlet so that I can have a phone and Internet. I have been living without net access at home for about two months now and it is not pleasant. Not to mention my wireless card keeps teasing me by saying that I’m connected. Pssh.

Things are still chaotic here in H-berg. I was out of the office most of last month doing TDY stuff and Joint Commission and whatnot. Not to mention all of the holidays! I swear I only worked about 10 days last month. Needless to say, I have huge pile of work that is in dire need of attention. So what better time to take half a morning to wait for TKS?

Sigh.

To be fair, I have been doing work from home for the past hour or so.

Other news – my parents are flying in Thursday morning. It’ll be nice to see them and I know they need a vacation. I have to work, but since they lived here before I think they’ll be able to fend for themselves.

My military ball is also this weekend. It brings me back to days of sorority formals. Mainly because I’ve waited until the last minute to do everything. I dropped my dress off yesterday for alterations and she promised it would be done by Friday. Fingers crossed. I bought some jewelry last night on the way home and now I have to figure out what I’m going to do with my hair. I haven’t gone to any of the stylists here and now is not a good time to start experimenting. There are a lot of balls in the air right now – I hope I don’t drop any of them.

Where the hell is TKS?

Cheers,
Jen

Working out, bad hair and the fall fest

2008-09-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

Blogging is for addictive personalities

So while I originally kept up my blog on a daily basis I have slowly succumbed to the easy way out – i.e. I’d rather read a good book and drink some hot chocolate than update my blog.

Admittedly, this is partly because I have fallen off the workout makeover wagon. I did really well for about 7 days and then, well, then I just got busy. And tired of working out.

In all honesty, the strength building circuits aren’t bad because I can do them at home. I always fall flat when it comes to cardio. There’s no way I can get up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym. I can hardly wake up on time as it is.

Case in point – last Wednesday I had to be at work early for morning report. My alarm went off at 5:30 and I hit snooze. Correction, I hit what I thought was snooze. Instead, I accidentally hit the off button. So I roll back over and eventually wake up. What time was it you ask?

6:45 a.m.

I don’t think I’ve ever made it out of the house in less than 30 minutes, but I did that morning.

Granted, superficial sacrifices were made in the process. Instead of painstakingly drying my hair sections at a time I ran the dryer though it a couple of times and hit the road. It semi-dried because I had the car window down, but the result wasn’t exactly the windblown look I’d hoped for.

The best part?

I told all of the admins about my morning issues and had them laughing til they cried. At which point, they’d always point out that I looked fine, no different than normal.

Fantastic.

So I always look unkempt? Not exactly the uber professional look I was going for…

But back to what I was originally saying – obviously a morning work out is not going to work for me. I always bring my gym clothes in hopes of going after work, but sometimes I’m there so late it’s just not worth it. I just want to go home.

For example, on Tuesday I had to drive to Stuttgart to meet with one of the commanders. It’s about an hour and a half drive, but the traffic is horrendous. Seriously, between the construction and the crazies on the Autobahn I probably cheated death about 5 times on my way there and back.

Traffic was so bad that by the time I got back to the office it was about 7 p.m. And I spent another 30 minutes doing work. Like I’m going to the gym after that!

However, I will say I have been good about going to my Pilates class! I’ve now gone three consecutive weeks in a row. My teacher said I’ve shown vast improvement, but I figure it’s easy to show improvement when you’re the most remedial kid in the class. There’s nowhere to go but up.

My classmates are trying to get another Pilates class going on Mondays – Pshh.

Pass.

So to continue with random babbling – there was a fall fest in Heidelberg yesterday. It’s great because I can walk down the stairs of my apartment, open the door and step out into a huge party.

Granted, the marching band at 11 a.m. was a little much, but it’s all about give and take when you live downtown.

I met up with Danelli and Sobryce, but it took awhile to reach them. I kid you not, there was one part of the street that was at a complete and utter standstill. I’ve never thought of myself as claustrophobic, but I was ready to have an anxiety attack.

Plus, Germans are pushy! This old man kept pushing the small of my back. I had to turn around and give him the “don’t f*cking touch me again” look. He laid off, but the crowd starting pushing and the next thing I knew his beer belly was pushing me forward. I felt disgusting. I felt violated. I was ready to go back upstairs. And most importantly, I wondered why I didn't know more German swear words.

Twenty minutes later I made it out of the cluster and literally ran into Dan. Well, technically he ran into me, but it didn’t matter. I was so relieved to see four people I recognized. We went back toward the stage and met up with Carlten and eventually even Sled showed up.

Um yes, that’s right – four couples and Jen.

Needless to say, after a couple of Newcastles everything was fine.

Things just aren’t festive if you aren’t drinking a beer and eating a brat (mine was a ½ meter long!).

I also ran into a few people I work with, which was nice. It’s like wow, I actually ran into someone I know in the middle of Germany – yay!

Anyway, it ended up being really cold so we called the evening pretty early around 8ish. I was tired anyway because I had deep cleaned the apartment earlier. I think it’s now safe to call my landlord so he can remove the salmon-colored couches.

I couldn’t call him with the apartment looking a wreck. I wouldn’t want him to worry.

Okay this post was really random. I need to post more often.

I’ll try harder in the future.

Cheers!
Jen

Day five: My legs are starting to feel normal again..

2008-09-12T11:48:00.001-07:00

Despite being exhausted, I did stupid circuit A.

I’m working tomorrow morning (yes, it IS Saturday) so I’ve got to get some shut eye.

Don’t worry, I’m only working in the morning and then it’s off to the big wine fest with the gang. It’s supposed to be the Oktoberfest for wine. HOORAY!

Cheers,
Jen

Day four: So apparently the rest of the world doesn’t stop just because I’ve decided to get in shape

2008-09-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today was a long day. Period.

The garrison hosted a Freedom Run/Walk today in remembrance of 9/11 so I had to be at work by 5:30 (because I didn’t have the foresight to grab the camera the night before) and to another post by 6 for the beginning of the event. I rolled in right before they started the run.

I snapped a few photos and walked the 5k with some of the people from our center. An hour later -- okay, to be fair we could’ve walked faster, but there were actually a lot more people walking than I thought there would be and the road was cluttered - we finish up the walk/run and I head back to my office to get ready for work.

Let me rephrase that.

I head back to my office to get my gym bag, which I dropped off at 5:30, so I could take it back to my apartment downtown because that’s right – I forgot my pants.

Much as I would’ve liked to have worn sweats all day, I doubt it would’ve gone over well with the command. Especially since I was out and about for most of the day.

I eventually get back to work at 9 and it’s just one thing after another from that point on.

If I wasn’t hunting down bulletin board keys, I was giving out ask me buttons (our campaign for September – long story). If I wasn’t updating the commander’s blog, I was rushing to have posters made. If I wasn’t editing articles, I was having changes made to websites. If I wasn’t doing a news release, I was answering a dozen new emails.

It was a long day.

I rolled out of work after 7 p.m.

I ate all THREE meals in my office today.

There’s something wrong with that picture.

Anyway, I made it home by 8 p.m. and forced myself to do circuits B and C.

Between the 5k walk, the two circuits and the 18,000 steps I registered today, I think I can let it slide that I just ate two cookies….and a number of mint musketeers throughout the day….

Tomorrow is Friday – YAY!

I have another early day because I’m taking two of our docs to a morning radio show. Fingers crossed it goes well.

Cheers,
Jen

Day three: It's about time to stray from the plan...

2008-09-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Alright so today is the third day of my grand workout plan. The agenda calls for cardio/stretching, but I had to substitute it. I know, I know, I’m already making concessions.

Originally, I had planned on going to the gym in the mornings for any day that requires cardio, however I have morning report on Wednesdays so that was automatically a no-go. Instead, I packed my gym bag and planned on going after work.

However, Kelli and I decided to go to a Pilates class instead. It’s a 12 week commitment, which is way more than my 21-day plan, but I decided what the hell – it couldn’t hurt.

The class started at 6 on another one of our posts. So we book it there and wait around for awhile until the instructor decides to show up. When we finally get in there, the first thing I notice are the mirrors. There are huge floor to ceiling mirrors lining both of the main walls. Uh oh. This could only mean one thing.

They actually want me to LOOK at myself while I work out.

Pssh – what kind of crap is this?

My first thought is go to the real gym, but I told Kelli I would do this so I decide to stay. The first class is about learning how to breathe the right way and how to line up your body in certain positions.

I am by far the most remedial person in this beginner’s class. Between the former dancers and the prior Pilates students, I am at square zero.

At first, I was a little annoyed when the instructor would walk over and correct my form. However, now that I think about it, this is really the best way to learn. By physically moving your hips or legs or whatever, you get to learn the proper way to do the move, which in turn makes it more effective.

You just have to get over yourself.

Which is where I may run into an issue, but I digress.

The class wasn’t terrible and we used lots of props. We had small rubber bouncing balls, giant foam cylinders which reminded me of thick pool noodles and head wedges.

Needless to say, it was interesting.

Tomorrow, I’m going to make up for the cardio by doing a 5k walk at 6a.m.

Wish me luck.

PS - Just for the record, my legs were so sore today that whenever I had to sit down I sort of fell into the chair. My muscles are on strike. Fabulous.

Cheers,
Jen

Day two: You want me to do what??

2008-09-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Today is day two of my 21-day workout makeover. Woohoo.

Instead of focusing on cardio and stretching, today was all about completing circuits A and C. Circuit A focuses on your arms, chest and butt. There are four exercises you do in a row.

First, you do 20-25 push ups, and yes, they are the girly push ups. Then you do the chest flye where you lie on your back, hold your weights and extend your arms until they’re almost touching the floor. Then you bring your hands back together above your chest. You do 25 of these.

Next, you do backward lunges while holding your weights. You do 15 for each leg. Then you do 20 -25 squats while resting your weights on your shoulders.

Fun, right?

Oh and did I mention that in the small print it says you should do this FOUR times in a row? Pssh.

Part of me wanted to shred the paper and grab a cookie. Part of me wanted to curl up on the couch and surf the net. And somewhere deep down, I found the part of me that was willing to suffer.

So I did the four cycles.

Then I grabbed the information for circuit C and drove on.

Circuit C is all about working your abs. There are only three exercises, but you still do the entire circuit four times in a row. I ran into a problem with the second exercise. I couldn’t figure out how to do it.

I read and re-read the directions. I studied the picture. I tried what I thought was the right thing and nearly popped something out of socket.

I decide at this point that Circuit C is lame and I should substitute the 21 minute abs program instead. I decide this for two good reasons.

1. I don’t understand the directions for Circuit C.

2. I don’t understand the directions for Circuit C.

Okay, so maybe I should get it, but I don’t. Sue me.

Tomorrow is another cardio day. Part of me wants to get up at 5 a.m. and hit the gym before work. However, I’m already feeling sleepy and this means I’ll be working out tomorrow evening. Not to mention, I have morning report tomorrow (where I brief my commander and deputies) and I can’t afford to be late.

What a shame.

Day two down, 19 more to go.

Cheers,
Jen

Day one: Do I really want to do this?

2008-09-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I said I was going to start my 21-day workout makeover. And true to my word, I did the exercise regime for day one – cardio and stretching.

I’d be lying if I said I never doubted for a minute I was going to do it because when my alarm went off at 5 a.m., I had serious doubts.

The room was pitch black, it was quiet and it was cold outside of the blankets. Why would I want to get up, put on gym clothes and hoof it 10 minutes down the street to the parking garage only to drive to work and go to the gym? I could always just say my alarm didn’t go off.

But then I remembered my dear Navy SEALs from the book I just finished. Did they whine about staying in freezing cold water for hours at a time? Did they gripe because their hands and feet were bound and they had to learn to swim anyway? Did they throw a tantrum when they had to run 4 miles on the beach in wet, sandy uniforms with 50 pounds on their back?

Probably.

But they did it anyway.

So I got my sorry butt out of bed and went to the gym.

Side note: I picked up a new book during lunch about a mercenary army. Think this means I’ll take up shooting next? Could be an interesting story…Although I’m not sure who would let me handle a gun. Best to find someone who doesn’t know me.

Back to day one.

So I get to the gym and all the lights are out. Say what?! I know I didn’t just get up, drive all the way out here and not be able to get in the gym. Okay, secretly, I was kind of hoping that was the case because then I could go sleep in my office, but that’s not really the point.

Eventually, I find some people with gym clothes on and ask where the gym is. Never mind they know that I work there and have no idea where the gym is. That speaks for itself.

I finally get to the “gym in a box” and Amy and Doc are already there working out. They ask where I’ve been. I say lost.

I get blank stares.

Whatever. I still made it. I work out for about 30 minutes and think I’m going to die. My breathing is off and my heart is going about 192 beats a minute. I recall the wellness lady telling me I shouldn’t go above 194 because it may kill me.

I decide to slow down.

Even then, my heart rate is about 185. When I get finished my face is as red as a tomato, my middle school shirt (everything else was dirty!) is soaked through and I want to pass out.

It may have been short, but I consider it a good workout.

I feel obligated to mention that I later ate Popeye’s for lunch, which totally negates any of the calories I burned this morning. Whatever. I freakin love me some Popeye’s.

Plus, I came home and did my Pilates and abs workout for my “stretching”. That has to count for something, right?

Tomorrow is circuits A and C training. Will keep you posted.

Cheers,
Jen

Does it look like I walk for fun?

2008-09-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Megan and I did a volksmarch here in Heidelberg. Volksmarching is a huge sport in Germany and this is one of their bigger events.

Essentially, volksmarching is just walking. However, while I thought it was leisurely strolling, it’s really more like power-walking. Or maybe even hiking.

There are several different courses you can take starting with a 5k and ending with a 42k (I think – I know it’s marathon distance). We did the 10k course.

We started back behind the health center and wound our way up and around the hills on the other side of the road. It was actually kind of peaceful. We walked through the vineyards and hiked up some hills in the forest.

Granted, I huffed and puffed up the hills, but no matter.

When we got about halfway there was a stand being run by some boy scouts. We had skipped breakfast so we grabbed a couple of bread and cheese sandwiches. The boy scouts just went up another notch in my book.

The rest of the course was relatively easy since it was either flat ground or downhill. It took us about two hours to do the six-mile course and we registered about 14,000 steps on our pedometers. To maintain a healthy lifestyle, you should walk 10,000 steps a day. Weight loss starts in at 12-14,000.

Just some fun facts for you.

That night I could definitely feel the strain in my legs.

So I’ve decided it’s time to get back in shape. I’ve been lazy for way too long.

So tomorrow I’m starting a 21-day workout makeover plan. I’m hoping if I post my progress to the web I’ll hold myself more accountable. Or at the very least, I’ll have to come up with some better excuses.

Tomorrow the madness starts. I hope I wake up on time. Faulty alarms are so common nowadays…

PS – I finished a book called The Warrior Elite this weekend. It follows a young group of Navy guys as they go through the initial course for Navy SEALs. The physical punishment and mental obstacles they’re put through are insane. If you have time, it’s worth the read.

Plus, it makes my 21-day plan look like child’s play. Talk about motivation!

Cheers,
Jen

Vicenza!

2008-09-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, Megan and I took advantage of the four-day weekend and flew to Vicenza, Italy. We left her apartment around 6 a.m., made it to the airport about two hours later and actually got on the airplane about two hours after that. Our flight was only a little more than an hour so by noon, we were in another country. Man, I love being in Europe.

We stayed with her friend Lance, who just recently got back from deployment. He and his friend Sean picked us up at the airport and the weekend officially began. The two guys actually live in the same apartment building in downtown Vicenza so it made meeting up for meals fairly easy. We had lunch and walked around downtown for a bit. Megan and I ended up going back out while they rested and found a great department store called, Coin. There was a big sale on housewares so I bought two of these canvas paintings of girls in sailor outfits. They’re going in my bathroom :)

By the time we finished up at Coin we got a call saying Megan and Lance’s other friend Hugh was in town. He drove about six hours from Germany instead of flying – it was a last minute trip. The three of them went to school together in Boston and this was the first time they had all been together in a couple years I think. It was a mini-reunion of sorts.

Anyway, we have dinner, go to a bar and then go to another bar called Art Café. This is where all of the American Soldiers hang out. It was a normal bar, but I’ll always remember it because this is the first place I had to use an authentic Italian toilet. For those of you who don’t know, it’s essentially a huge square cut into the bathroom floor. Then you stand with your legs on either side or squat. All I can say is thank goodness I was wearing a skirt. If I had worn jeans, I’m not sure how I would’ve used the restroom without peeing all over myself. I think I would’ve just held it.

Anyway, we go back to Lance’s apartment, stay up for awhile chatting and eventually crash. The next day we head for the beach. It’s only about an hour away and we get there in the early afternoon.

Megan gave me some of her super tanning lotion (because let’s face it, I’m white) and we settle in for a day of tanning. I alternate between dozing and reading one of my romance novels. Ah and people-watching. Italians are all so tan. However, some of them were straight up crispy. There were a couple of guys near our blankets and they looked like baked chicken that had been in the oven too long. You know, when it gets that thin crispy skin?

However, since I’m half-Irish, not Italian, I didn’t have to worry about crispy skin. Instead, I had the pleasure of having lobster legs. Maybe I didn’t flip over enough, maybe I should’ve just used regular suntan lotion or maybe I just don’t belong in the sun. But for whatever reason, my legs were bright pink. In fact, a week later, there are still some tender pink spots on the front of my legs. Now I’m paranoid about skin cancer. But that’s another story.

So we get back from the beach and I get to take a shower. This is the only shower I take all weekend (they’re teaching me to rough it). Like their toilets, the showers are kind of funny. There’s a huge tub and the shower head is about a foot about the lip of the tub. This means you have to squat in the tub so that you can shower. Needless to say, I made a mess.

Eventually we all get dressed and go have dinner. Then we head to a fair we had seen earlier in the day. Y’all know that I’m not one for carnie rides. I mean c’mon – you want me to put my life in the hands of some guy making crappy money who put this ride up 24 hours ago? Pssh – please.

However, sometimes the group sentiment wins out. Which is how I ended up on a ride called the Matrix. Let me just say, I’m glad I’m still breathing because if that thing had broken it would’ve been a shitty way to go.

The ride has four arms with rows of chairs. So you all face each other in a big circle. I kind of looks like of those claws from the claw machines. Then the whole arm starts to swing back and forth like the big ship at Six Flags. At first, it’s not so bad. I’m like wow, I can hang – no worries.

Then it starts to get a little higher and starts to spin in a circle at the same time. At this point, I start to feel a little uneasy. Then the arm swings up into the air and I find myself staring straight at the ground. Not only am I staring at the ground, I am being lifted out of my seat. The only thing between me and solid ground is the restraint that comes down over my chest.

I am scared.

This goes on for a few more cycles and the ride slows down and comes to a stop. Then the Italians riding with us start chanting. I am in shock and saying a silent prayer of thanks that I’m still alive. So imagine my disgust when the ride starts up again.

Was it the Italians chanting? Was it all just part of the ride? Who knows? All I know is that we started up again and this time we went faster and we went higher. I can’t open my eyes. I manage to find Sean’s shirt and I hold on for dear life. He later said that he knew if his restraint broke that he’d be okay because I had a death grip on him and he wouldn’t fall.

I do not like the Matrix.

All I could do was close my eyes and try to breathe. Stupid carnie rides.

Anyway, I guess the guys worked up an appetite during the ride because we stopped for crepes. I’m pretty sure if I had put anything in my stomach it would’ve just come back up. So in the interest of group harmony, I passed on the crepes.

I don’t remember much else about the evening except we left the fair and went to the bar next to their apartment. Megan and I had long islands that looked black. Talk about a red flag.

I go to bed early and leave the three of them to catch up in the kitchen.

The next day Megan, Hugh and I wander around Vicenza and window shop. When we get back to the apartment Hugh and Lance both take naps so we slip out and head to a café. We have coffee (mine had bailey’s and mint cream, hers had caramel and nutella) and prosecco (a sparkling white wine – it’s fantastic).

Then we head toward another café down the road. We figured the boys would catch up after their nap. The place we stop at is fantastic. Although at first, we were a little apprehensive. They didn’t have menus and the girl didn’t speak very good English. So the chef/owner comes out and starts talking to us. We end up with rum and cokes. He asked if we wanted 3 or 5 year old rum.

Huh?

We say 3.

We’re like man; this is going to be a $20 rum and coke. Who asks what year you want?

The chef comes back out and he’s got our rum over ice and little coke bottles so we can pour our own. This is the best rum I’ve ever had. Period.

He also brings out fresh bread that’s gooey on the inside and crunchy on the outside, fresh salami (I could live off this stuff), black olives, peanuts, sugary pecans and tomatoes. He explains each thing to us and we’re blown away. Talk about a presentation! We decide this is our new favorite place in Vicenza. Not to mention the rum and cokes end up being about 5 euro a piece. Not too shabby. The boys join us and have some wine. Eventually we leave and the chef gives us his business card. If only we lived there…

We head to another bar and sit outside on the steps. I’m not sure what time we went to bed, but it was late.

The next morning, we get up early and head back to Frankfurt.

Vicenza is officially crossed of the to do list.

Note: I’ll add photos later!

Cheers,
Jen

Blink 180 what?

2008-08-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else remember Blink 182? I found their cd while I was unpacking and I had forgotten how much fun their music can be. I’ve been blaring it from my car whenever I get a chance. The security guards give me funny looks when they hear some of the lyrics as I go through the gate to work, but it is what it is. Who wouldn’t want to hear the “Party Song” or about how “the state looks down on sodomy?”on an early Monday morning? We’ll find out tomorrow.

I have to be at work at 6 a.m. so I probably should be in bed right now, not typing a blog post. However, I’m wide awake and lying in bed would be pointless. Some would argue I should be doing some work or at the very least surfing the net, but my blog is in need of some TLC.

Work is still progressing in the right direction, but there’s still a lot to be desired. Growing pains suck. On the bright side my business cards came in, which clearly means I am a professional.

Ha.

Tomorrow I’m briefing some new employees on public affairs – something I did last week for some of our higher ranking officials. I have to remember most people have no idea what I do. Usually when people see me I’m taking notes for an interview or snapping photos – they think I’m a reporter or a photographer. I should relish this opportunity to teach people about what I do. Hopefully, it’ll sink in.

On a personal note, I’m still surrounded by boxes. You’d think I would take the time to unpack everything and you know, build a home, but no. Instead, I’ve built a path from the living room to the kitchen, to the bedroom and bathroom. Everything else is just shoved to the side. I’m feeling unmotivated. Maybe if I knew people were coming over I’d straighten up. I should take a page out of Co-Worker’s book and schedule a house-warming party. Then I’d be forced to clean…or would I? Part of me thinks I would. Part of me thinks I’d relocate the party to the pub downstairs.

Speaking of pubs – do you like how I can always segue into drinking? – I felt really old on Friday. I was at work until about 6:30, which sucked but doesn’t really matter, and got home around 7ish. I was walking to my apartment from the parking garage and there were two girls dressed up in cocktail dresses and heels. They were blitzed and one of them fell down in the middle of the street because of the cobblestones. They start laughing hysterically and I couldn’t help but think of college.

Followed by the, “you couldn’t at least wait until the sun went down to get ripped?”

That’s when I had the “oh man, I’m getting old” thoughts.

Is it just me?

Other big news – okay not big, but worth mentioning – our organization has a holiday ball each year. Yep, that’s right. After four years of sorority formals, I thought I would be able to put the dresses away and be done with the whole thing (with the exception of fabulous weddings, of course). Apparently, that’s not the case. We have a full blown military formal each year. Go figure.

This means dress shopping. I’d wear one of my old formals, but let’s face it, they’re no longer in style and they no longer fit. Ladies, if you want to keep your sanity, do NOT try on your old formals. It’s not fun.

Trust me on this one.

Anyway, because our dollar sucks so bad buying a dress here really isn’t the best idea. This means I need to do online shopping because I can’t make an emergency trip back to the States for a dress. If you know of any decent Web sites, please send them my way!

Alright, I should go check on my laundry – it’s been about two hours so it should be wrapping up.

PS – the photos are of me and Amy. We went cruising up the river today and stopped in a small town to hike up to some castle ruins. Wicked.

Cheers,
Jen

Wurzburg!

2008-08-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend Megan and I went to Wurzburg to do some sight-seeing. I got to take my car on the Autobahn for the first time, which was uber-exciting. The weather was fabulous on Saturday so we drove with the top down. Funny, driving at 90-some odd mph really isn’t that much different than driving 60 mph with the top down. Your hair is going to look crazy no matter what so you just enjoy the ride.

Speaking of MPH – I was kind of wary to hit the 100 mph mark just because you know, it’s 100 freaking miles an hour. I finally got over my “fear” on the way home Sunday. I looked down and I was going 105 mph. I think you just sort of keep pace with traffic and you get in the habit of passing cars, ect. At one point we ran into some traffic and I remember it felt like we were going all of 30 mph --- we were going 70 mph.

Of course, there were still people passing me who were probably going 115 or 125 mph – I just couldn’t bring myself to go that fast.

I digress.

So we got to Wurzburg and we walked around the market place and grabbed some lunch at one of the local restaurants. Now in Germany, you don’t have a hostess or anything. You simply sit where there’s an open seat and your server will get to you when they can – it’s very chillax. So I was sitting at a table for four while Megan went to the restroom when this random guy comes up and starts speaking to me in German.

Of course, I have to explain I have no idea what he’s saying and he thinks I’m blowing him off. After a brief explanation, I realize he wants to sit at the empty seat at our table. He said he’s from Scotland and was visiting on vacation. So I tell him to sit. When in Germany, right?

When Megan came back she was a little confused, but played it off relatively well. The three of us just toughed it out through our meal and his two glasses of strawberry wine. He seemed nice enough, just really sweaty and a little hairy. Oh well, whatever. It would be a good way to meet people when you’re traveling alone and if I were him, I’d pick the table with the two young chicks too.

We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the town. We went into a couple of old churches. These churches are absolutely gorgeous. I can’t imagine actually attending a service at one of them, much less getting married. We had to wait for a wedding party to finish up before we could go into one of the churches. What an experience.

We also went to the Residence, which is a palace in Wurzburg designed by some of the leading Baroque architects. It was damaged in WWII, but they’re remodeling it piece by piece. Some of the progress they’ve made is amazing. They’ve taken old statues missing faces and limbs and given them new life.

You can also walk around parts of the palace and look at the rooms, some of which seem really random. They would have a couple of chairs or maybe a small desk. I wonder if they actually used these rooms. Like, I’m going to go sit in the rose room and reflect on worldly events. Or I wonder if they’re like all of us – we may have a formal sitting room, but we always end up in the living room or the kitchen. It would be interesting to have a flashback in time.

Side note: My favorite room was the shimmery green room. The original coat was some type of silver/shimmery paint and then they painted green over it. Although the paint has darkened over time, especially because of the damage, there were still parts where the walls absolutely seemed to shine.

There were also gardens attached to the home. They had these awesome cone-shaped trees. They looked just like gnome hats. There was just something about them I found appealing. Of course, they also had the hedges and the dreamy flowers and statues.

Megan said it reminded her of Alice in Wonderland.

A trip down the rabbit hole indeed.

Afterward, we made our way to the hotel and I spent about 20 minutes trying to parallel park. Man, it’s just one of those skills I have yet to master. I’m always afraid I’m going to hit a car! I need to practice so she can’t make fun of me anymore :)

I’m not sure what the best way to describe our hotel would be. Probably clean and efficient. There were these two cute little twin beds side by side and your other basic amenities. We didn’t spend much time in the hotel anyway.

After dropping our stuff off we walked back to the old town and grabbed some ice cream and a couple of beers. We relaxed outside under the umbrellas and people-watched. Megan thinks I can pull of a leopard dress and red pumps. I’m still skeptical.

We also saw this older woman in a shimmery outfit with nice-sized heels. She looked kind of like a mermaid with legs. I’m not sure why I remember that, but it sticks out as important…

Once we finished our beers we headed toward the wine store. We had heard about a wine party, but when we got there we found out it was on the side of the mountain. So we walked over to the bus stop and took a shuttle bus to the wine party.

The rest is fairly uneventful – we had some wine, some fries and danced to some polka/80’s music.

The lead singer kind of looked like Maria – random, ja?

The next day we came home and recovered from our trip.

A good weekend all around.

Cheers,
Jen

My stuff has arrived...

2008-08-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

It’s about 7:30 p.m., I’ve had a half bottle of wine and I’m surrounded by boxes of crap I should’ve gotten rid of ages ago. Life is interesting if nothing else.

My movers arrived at about 8 a.m. this morning and stayed until about noon. I felt like such an ass. I live on the fourth floor and they had to carry all sorts of awkward boxes up the spiral staircase from hell. There were only three movers – 2 men and one woman (what a trooper). It had to be at least 90 degrees outside and they were literally dripping sweat onto my furniture and boxes. One of the guys actually had to change his shirt because it was clinging to his body.

I felt terrible, but there’s not much you can do at that point. I just kept forcing water down their throats to keep them hydrated. I think they only took one break the entire time. Their legs must be made of steel. Maybe I should look into becoming a part-time mover…

So now I’m surrounded by boxes and mismatched furniture. I’ve started stacking things in my storage closet, much like a game of Tetris. Everything has to be turned just the right way so everything else will fit. Unfortunately, I’ve stashed a box in there that shouldn’t be there.

You see, I packed two weird rectangle boxes with a weird green trim. One has stuff for good will; another has kitchen stuff (I think). Being lazy, or at the very least inattentive, I shoved one of the “green” boxes at the back of the storage closet thinking it was the donation box (which makes no sense anyway). Of course, it wasn’t.

And naturally, I didn’t figure this out until after I had shoved a number of totes and tables ect. in front of said box. Faced with this dilemma, I decided what any full-blooded American would decide – eff it. The box can freakin stay there. If I need to buy replacement stuff, so be it. That box is the least of my concerns. I need to worry about the rest of the crap all over my apartment, namely the crap all over my bed. I can’t even see it at this point. I know it’s there, but I couldn’t even tell you the color of the sheets. Your guess is as good as mine.

So being the complainer that I am, I mentioned this to Jughead during our chat session. He pointed out that when he moved into his apartment he opened a bottle of wine and kind of chillaxed while he unpacked. Good call, Juggie. Good call.

I decided to open a Riesling I’ve had in my fridge for about three weeks. I’ve been waiting to get a corkscrew, but as it turns out, it’s a screw top. I’ll be damned.

Now I know it sounds cheap (and it was – only about 3 Euros I think), but its fabulous wine. And I should know, seeing as I’ve already had half a bottle.

Which leads me to the here and now. I’m chillaxing on my striped love seat (that matches absolutely nothing in my apartment) and sipping on my white wine. I should probably get up and clear off my bed so I can get some rest, but I’m relatively comfortable where I am. Maybe I’ll pull a Homer and develop my own personal ass groove.

Ah and for those of you that were concerned, all of my stuff made it into the apartment. There was a brief scare when my box spring got stuck in the stairwell, but the guys made it work. They were almost home-free at that point and I doubt they wanted to drag it down the stairs any more than they wanted to wedge it the last few feet. Bless them.

Alright, I suppose I should continue unpacking my “treasures”.

PS – the paintings I ordered on eBay also came in today. They are absolutely fabulous and they couldn’t have had any better timing. Although I’m sure the delivery guy was curious as to why I had sweat dripping from my face (hey, it’s hot!). Maybe he just thought I was out of shape (a valid option).

Cheers,
Jen

Geez, it's been a couple of weeks now...

2008-07-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

So I’ve been a total slacker when it comes posting entries on my blog. I need get my act together! As always, there are lots of things going on across the pond.

I found out last week that my household goods are finally here! I’m working with the transportation people to set up a date for my furniture to be delivered. I’m totally stoked except for one small drawback…

As it turns out, if the movers can’t get my furniture up my spiral staircase they’re going to leave my furniture in the street. Yep, you read right, in the street.

Apparently, they’re under no obligation to make your furniture fit in your apartment. They’re also under no obligation to take your furniture back to storage, to the dumpster or anywhere else for that matter.

My only real concern is about my box spring and my couch. I think everything else will fit. Fingers crossed. One lady said she sawed her box spring in half and then put it back together. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?

Work is going relatively well. I’m still working long hours (this Saturday I worked 8 hours), but I’m starting to feel more comfortable with my job role. I’m hoping that by the end of the year I’ll have more of a routine down. Although, given my line of work, routines aren’t very common. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Shortage of vaccines? Maybe. Stars and Stripes banging down my door? Could happen. My boss wants me to re-vamp the entire web program in the next four hours? Okay, unlikely, but still possible.

I guess it’s kind of a double-edged sword. Even though I’d like a routine to a certain degree, part of what I love most about my job is that you never know what’s going to happen. Keeps you on your toes – and it’s definitely not boring.

I guess what I should say is that I hope by the end of the year I’ll be comfortable performing all of my job duties. Yeah, maybe that’s better.

On a completely unrelated note, I saw Dark Knight this weekend. I’m sure it wasn’t the same viewing experience all of you had since I saw it at the theater on post. This translates into regular seating, a small screen, bad audio and lots of screaming babies. But hey, it wasn’t even 5 bucks to get in!

Anyway, the movie was fantastic. I love Christian Bale, but Heath Ledger stole the show. I kept trying to picture him from 10 Things I Hate About You or A Knight’s Tale, but he was completely lost in the role. You’ve got to see it to believe it. Everyone else in the film was irrelevant. Bat what? Bat who?

Yesterday was a lazy day by anyone’s standards. I did some laundry, finished up the alumnae newsletter (finally!) and “lounged”. Amy dragged me out for dinner, but I had already eaten so I went with a liquid meal – i.e. a half liter of beer.

Good times.

Now I’m going to try and be disciplined and do my Pilates.

Fun.

Cheers,
Jen

My wheels are here & I can pick them up!

2008-07-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

All –

I have fabulous news for everyone relying on me to drive them around in Germany! Granted, at this point in time it only affects me, but good news is good news any way you slice it.

Not only did I pass my driver’s test last week, they called to let me know my car is here! Megan is going to take me to the equivalent of a DMV to register my car on Thursday and then it’s off to Mannheim to pick up my vehicle. I am ecstatic.

Speaking of my driver’s test, it was hard. There were 100 questions – 75 multiple choice/true-false and 25 matching (signs). I only missed 6, but I think that’s because I’ve become a good guesser.

We had a 2 hour class before we took the test, but I didn’t take too much away from it. We watched a 45 minute video narrated by their version of a stereotypical German polizei, handlebar mustache and all. Like putting this random guy on the screen is going to encourage me to listen to the words in the background. All I could think about was his wicked mustache and funny glasses.

My instructor wasn’t much better. One, he was REALLY loud. Everyone had to take turns going up to the front of the room to turn in our forms. Then he would publicly berate us if we forgot to fill in a blank box. I thought he was going to get on me because I filled my out in half blue and half black ink – don’t ask – but he didn’t.

Instead, he called on me repeatedly during the class to see if I had studied beforehand. Or maybe he thought I just looked really confused. Whatever. Driving over here IS confusing. They have this right before left rule that makes my head hurt. Any time you come up on an unmarked intersection, you have to yield to the person on your right even if they’re coming from a stopped position and you’re driving straight down the road. It makes no flippin sense if you ask me, but unfortunately the Germans didn’t consult me before putting their driving laws into effect.

Yeah, so he called on me and I don’t think I ever got the answer correct. No wonder he looked at me funny when I did well on the test. Or maybe he looked smug because he thought he had taught me something. Who cares? A driver’s license is a license.

In other news, I just found out this afternoon that Tina signed up to run a marathon in Greece in November. I thought about volunteering to join the running club as well, but then I remembered that I don’t run.

Instead, I may look into planning a trip to Greece so I can go cheer her on. Sounds like the perfect excuse for a mini-vacay!

Anyway, hope everyone is having a kick ass week so far!

Cheers,
Jen

Fourth of July Germany-style

2008-07-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

Happy fourth of July weekend! I hope everyone enjoyed their day off and the fireworks in their area.

Megan and I had a girls night Thursday and made white trash margaritas (ala Begley!) and watched old Sex in the City episodes and Bridget Jones’ Diary. When I said girls night – I meant girls night!

I spent Friday running errands. I went to the Familia Center, which is like a strip mall, but inside. They have an awesome bakery, which I had to stop at, and a big grocery store, which was my original destination.

I probably spent an hour wandering around the store looking at the different German products. Did you know their condiments come in a tube? You can buy mustard in what looks like a toothpaste tube. It’s strange at first, but I guess you get used to it.

I played it safe and bought things like yogurt, bread and chocolate. I probably could’ve gotten these things down where I live, but walking around the Familia center is just fun. They also have a huge wine section and sell wine in juice box-type packages. Too weird. Although, they’re probably perfect for picnicking.

Friday night, I went over to Danelli’s for a fourth of July BBQ. SoBryce was also in attendance. I made white trash margaritas (anyone else noticing a theme?) and they made baked beans, potato casserole, wursts and squash/zucchini. It was a tasty BBQ! Granted, you usually eat burgers and hot dogs on the fourth, but when in Germany…

Eventually we wandered down to the town square in Schwetzingen because SoBryce had seen an ad for fireworks. We walked around for about an hour, but we never saw any fireworks. There was a big hoopla at one of the installations, but no one was in any state to drive. Plus, I still don’t have my driver’s license. We won’t get into that…

When we got back to Danelli's, we created my very own Wii character. Of course, they made me take the Wii age test right off the bat. I'm 37 in Wii years, but considering I've only played once or twice, that's not too shabby.

I also beat everyone during our first game of bowling :) Now if only I could take those bowling skills and use them in real life. Maybe then I could bowl at the bowling alley without people staring.

I ended up spending the night in “my” room and came home the next day around noon. I spent Saturday running around with Amy.

There was an African market near our places so we walked down to watch the dancers and buy shell bracelets. They also had some Ethiopian food, but I had already eaten. Bummer. Oh well, I’m sure there will be another random fest in the near future. Today, I heard a do wop group busting out some tunes down below my apartment. You never know what’s going to happen downtown.

Anyway, back to yesterday. So, I tried Indian food for the first time last night. I’m not sure if I liked it or not. I had chicken with this really sweet orange sauce. It was just ok. The bread, called nan, was really good but I think that’s because it was basically a flour tortilla.

I brought the rest of my food home, but I have a feeling I won’t eat it.

I finally got some rest last night and slept for about 10 hours. Today has been all about getting laundry done (since it takes 2 hours per wash cycle!), getting some work done and relaxing.

I’ve also spent a considerable amount of time with my new love, eBay. Danelli told me about this fantastic art site where you can buy paintings for $1 and then pay to have they stretched. I bought two, but am having trouble buying the stretching service. They should have more detailed instructions!

I’ve also started searching for my favorite stores like The Limited, because they don’t sell their clothes online. You’d be surprised how many clothes are on eBay that are still new with tags. Although, if you really think about it, it shouldn’t be that surprising.

I can think of loads of clothes in my closet (er…on the boat that contains my closet) that still have tags on them and have never been worn.

I’d sell them on eBay, but that’s too much work. I’d much rather just buy things.

PS – After I took a shower this morning, I put my pj’s back on and haven’t changed since. Yay!

Cheers,
Jen

Whoops!

2008-07-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

All-

Looking back, I think my last few posts have been kind of crappy. It's like I'm driving the complainer train or something. So to offset my whiny ways, here are 10 things I'm absolutely diggin right now.

1. I just had a strawberry margarita and nachos for dinner.

2. I'm off for the fourth of July so tomorrow is technically Friday.

3. The bottle of wine I bought is finally cold enough to drink.

4. Tomorrow is pay day.

5. My foot is much better than two days ago.

6. I still love my job (despite the minor complaining the past few days - sometimes ya just gotta vent).

7. My cell phones play "I've been waiting for you" and "Come on and pick it up" when they ring.

8. You can watch Tila Tequila episodes online (I know it's a sick sick world)

9. I started a new book (granted it's about the Iraq war - not exactly light reading).

10. I already have some awesome friends like Megan, Danelli and Amy.

No more complaining!

Much love,
Jen

Sleepless nights mean restless days

2008-06-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

All –

Last time we chatted I was on my way to watch the Germany/Spain soccer game. Unfortunately, Germany lost. There were lots of depressed Germans and lots of excited Spaniards, who surprisingly enough were in the middle of downtown Heidelberg.

The game itself wasn’t even very exciting. I think the most exciting thing that happened was when Megan got upset about the goal, slammed her water bottle down in the air and landed on my huge Beck’s beer bottle which then proceeded to smash into a million tiny pieces on the cobblestone ground.

We played it off like we were upset about the goal…

And don’t worry, there was only a little bit of beer left anyway. My drinking was not heavily impacted by this unfortunate accident.

Anyway, as I was saying, it wasn’t very exciting.

After the game we go our separate ways. They end up walking all the way home because they took the wrong bus/train/streetcar. I walked all of 50 feet and up three flights of stairs.

Normally, the noise doesn’t bother me, but I absolutely could not sleep last night. I was up until at least 3 a.m. and I got up at 6 a.m. It sucked.

Although I probably could’ve saved myself. Ivy said he was up watching a movie and I was more than welcome to have the guest bed. Apparently, one block over makes a world of difference when it comes to post-game noise.

I didn’t go, but mainly because I was up chatting with my parents. I was telling my dad how my commander was irritated with me over the weekend. Apparently, he tried to call me Friday night at 9 pm (I was already enjoying a margarita at Fiesta Mexicana at this point) and I didn’t pick up. Granted, I didn’t pick up because I left my phone at Danelli’s on accident. It’s not like I deliberately blew him off.

I’m hoping this all blows over because he definitely gave me the cold shoulder at work today. He’s just going to have to get over this. I mean, c’mon. One, I’m not on call 24/7 unless it’s an extreme emergency. If I was constantly on call I couldn’t have wine with dinner or travel more than 20 minutes away. I am allowed to have a life, you know?

Anyway, enough about that – it’ll put me in a foul mood and I’m not even close to done with my post.

Like I was saying, I didn’t get much sleep last night but I felt awake enough. I even left the apartment early!

Unfortunately, luck was not on my side this morning. I’ve been having some foot pain on the top of my right foot and it’s been making it hard to walk. I’ve been putting off having it looked at because I figured it would just fix itself.

But the good Lord takes care of fools and he made sure I got to a hospital. On my way to the streetcar I full on twisted my ankle because of the cobblestones. I almost fell over the pain was so bad. For a minute, I thought I had fractured my foot.

I hobbled all the way to the streetcar and it took me an extra 45 minutes to get to work so I was late on top of everything else.

I was hella busy this morning, but decided I should have someone check out my foot. One of the nurses looked at it and said she thought it may be broken. Say what?!

I ended up getting my foot and ankle x-rayed shortly after that. I hadn’t even looked at my foot since I twisted it because I had been so busy and when I pulled my shoe off it was grotesque. My entire ankle is the size of a baseball and the top of my foot is swollen. My foot just ballooned. It was gross.

Ah and because there’s always icing on the cake – I hadn’t shaved this morning AND I was wearing the shoes that always make my feet smell. It’s not like they were just some random x-ray techs – they’re my co-workers!

Anyway, I found out later this afternoon that my foot is fine, it’s just sprained. I have to elevate it and ice it and something else. She called it RICE, but all I could think of was sushi.

Hey man, it was lunch time.

I spent the rest of the day running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Have I mentioned that the four deputies are all full and light bird colonels? I essentially have like six high-ranking bosses.

Ugh.

So I stayed late at work and took my time getting home so I wouldn’t twist my ankle again. I also made this fabulous tortellini I found at a German grocery store. Yum.

Now I’m sitting here wondering why I ate all that food. I’m so full. How am I going to make dessert fit??

Alright, it’s nearly 8 so I better get to work. I’ve got too much to do during a normal workday so it looks like I’ll be working from home for awhile. Exciting.

Maybe if I get some crutches people will lay off some.

Cheers,
Jen

The weekend is for drinking AND for errands :)

2008-06-29T11:19:00.001-07:00

So even though I spent most of the weekend drinking with my new buddies (ref: Juicy Bits), I still managed to get a lot accomplished.

I spent most of the day Saturday with Amy. Our first stop was the IKEA in Mannheim, which we had a hard time finding. We probably drove around for the better part of two hours looking for this IKEA. Never mind it’s a huge blue and yellow building the size of a small farm. It was hard to spot.

We finally get there and spend a couple hours looking at the showroom and picking up things for our respective apartments. I go small and end up with some hand towels and some bathroom glassware. She goes big and buys two tables. We also find these fabulous rugs to decorate her bathroom with –

Oh and the very first thing we did at IKEA was eat a hot dog. You get your hot dog and you add mustard, onion straws and pickles. It sounds disgusting, but it was fabulous. On the way out, we got soft serve ice cream :)

Did I mention Amy shares my love of eating?

Next stop was on post to find a yoga mat. I end up with an iron.

We get back in the car and finally find the furniture store, which had just closed ten minutes prior to our arrival. We decide to go to the IKEA in Heidelberg instead.

I know it sounds like we’re obsessive-compulsive about IKEA, but I really needed three more bathroom rugs and they didn’t have them in Mannheim.

Side bar – we also went to the bookstore and I started researching how to make sushi rolls. I think I’m going to make sushi my new diet. If I eat it for one meal a day I think I’ll start losing weight. Thoughts?

Anyway – after the second trip to IKEA we make our way to the Reve in Schwetzigen. There’s a Thai restaurant inside the grocery store she said I needed to try. It was definitely worth the drive.

Afterward, we go mini-grocery shopping to buy some essentials. For me, it means meat, bread, cheese and wine. Yum.

Then she dropped me off at home and I went off for my night with Megan and Archie (ref: Juicy bits).

Fast forward to Sunday –

I told Amy I would help her move her table up to her apartment today. Her patient was late (she was on-call this weekend) so she started moving her stuff earlier than we expected. She called right as I was getting ready to go have breakfast with Ivy (ref: Juicy Bits) so I invited her along to the bakery.

The three of us took our baked goods (chocolate brotchen for me) and headed toward the river. We had our breakfast on a bench while we watched the boats float by – surreal.

As it turns out, the woman’s apartment Amy is moving into is also the same woman who promised Ivy her kitchen table. Small world. He decides to tag along so he can check out his new piece of furniture.

We also manage to persuade him to carry the table up the stairs for us, which was really probably the safest thing to do anyway. Her stairs are 100 years old and warped as all get out. I could barely keep my balance and all I was carrying was a purse.

Her apartment is really nice, by the way. I think her bathroom could house a set of twins it’s so big!

After a quick tour, Ivy goes home and we head to work so she can see her patient. I spend the time goofing off in the staff room and scheduling a photo shoot for tomorrow.

Then we head off to the furniture store in Mannheim. She doesn’t find any rugs, but I found a yoga mat! Now I can do my Pilates again and not feel so guilty about those damn chocolate brotchens.

Which really aren’t that filling anyway….so we decide to go to the bowling alley for some grub. We both went intending to get salads, but caved and got burgers. The burgers were excellent. Any time I need my American burger fix, I’m going to the bowling alley.

After this we head to the PX for a few more things. We end up running into my boss and his wife.

Sigh.

Why is it I always look like crap when I run into important people?

I try to keep the conversation short and sweet, but Amy keeps the conversation going.

Sigh.

It’s time to go home.

I got back a few hours ago and I’ve been working on laundry and typing this blog post instead of doing work. I don’t get paid enough to work on the weekend.

Tonight is the big Euro 2008 final game. It’s between Germany and Spain and their supporters have been chanting outside my window for about an hour and a half now. It’s going to be noisy the rest of the evening so… if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

I’m going to meet Megan and Archie at the Big Pommes (French fries) stand in about 20 minutes or so and we’re going to go watch the game. It should be insane.

Seriously, these are fans like you’ve never seen fans. They put even the most outlandish NFL and NBA fans to shame. Paint your body in team colors and sit in the cold to watch football? Big deal. These folks would sit there naked and throw in a chant for good measure.

Let the alcohol flow.

Ah and GO GERMANY!

Cheers,
Jen

Today was a good day

2008-06-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

All –

I am absolutely 99% exhausted and should be in bed right now. However, I am feeling the overwhelming urge to jot this down so I will summon the last 1% of strength I have left to make this statement.

This week (and especially today) I learned something very important about my job – I’ve run around scheduling media visits for a special event, was out until almost 11pm last night at a partnership-building dinner, I spent almost the entire day doing warrior activities with our employees and I didn’t get home until almost 8 because I had to attend a community meeting.

I’m tired, I’m pretty sure I sprained my foot, I wore kevlar for a few hours in the sun, I got helmet hair from wearing a helmet two sizes too big, I know I walked into at least two spider webs while I was in the field and the most time I spent at my desk today was about an hour.

And you know what I learned?

I learned that I love my job.

There is not a doubt in my mind that I am in the right spot at the right time. I’ve always said things happen for a reason and this is just another piece of evidence for the books.

There were two very distinct events that led me to my sudden epiphany – both of which happened today.

Event 1
As I mentioned above I spent the day outside at our Best Warrior competition. This is where people compete in different events such as shooting, land navigation, combatives and the oral board. These people are amazing. They’re smart, they’re physically fit and they believe in what they’re doing. I was blown away.

But what really hit home for me was when these amazing people started saying how they thought I had the coolest job in the world. How I must be presented with the coolest opportunities and meet amazing people all the time. And asking how I got into the field and that they too, may want to go into public affairs someday.

The fact that these people thought I was the one with the cool job blew my mind. They’re the ones doing all the hard work, you know?

Then I got to thinking and they’re right. I have been blessed with a truly amazing job. I get to travel all over the world, I get meet these awesome people and I get to do cool things like hike through a forest, shoot guns at a range and eat lousy MREs.

How many people can say they do that on a regular basis?

Event 2
The second event that made me realize how much I love my job happened during the community meeting. It was, on a professional level, a huge breakthrough. During the meeting, I was actually able to run through the public affairs tactics I was going to start implementing based on the community’s feedback. Wow. I didn’t know my brain was already starting to analyze and process these things so quickly. I was impressed :)

What’s more is that I have some constructive criticism to give to the two speakers, both of whom are my bosses. Even better is that I actually feel comfortable giving them the criticism! Yes, it’s my job, but it’s never easy to tell someone something they should work on improving, especially when it’s your boss. BUT, I actually have enough confidence in myself and in my advice that I’m going to sit down and chat with them about it. Wow. I’m a public affairs officer…and I love my job.

Just wanted to share this bit of good news with the people I love.

Anyway, this has been me rambling on and on about what a great day I had. I hope all of you had a great day as well :)

PS - I’m not gloating, just excited.

PPS – Fiesta Mexicana is this weekend and Danelli and I are going tomorrow night. Look forward to a new Juicy Bits post!

Cheers,
Jen

My washing machine is also a dryer

2008-06-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

I should really be working right now, but I’m exhausted and I need a break. I had to be at work this morning at 0730 for hospitality training (yes, you read that correctly) so I’ve been up since 0530. I spent all day at work and didn’t leave until almost 6. Then I worked for a few hours at home. It’s now 10 p.m.

I ’ve been working on re-vamping a press release (not mine to being with, but mine now) and it’s taking a while to get my brain going. Granted, I got the tasker on the way out the door this afternoon – I always write better in the morning.

Things have definitely picked up in the past two days of my life. Yesterday, I moved into my new apartment. My things won’t arrive until the end of July, but at least I’m in my new home. I absolutely LOVE it.

People tried to warn me off this location because my building is over a row of shops/restaurants/bars, but I really enjoy the noise. No, really.

If I close the windows I can’t hear anything, but I crack them I can hear a soft chatter coming from the street. It’s like having a wave machine next to your bed – I was out like a log!

The only time I woke up was because I was cold. Yes, that’s right. COLD. Remember how I mentioned we don’t have any air conditioning? It’s been in the mid-90s and I was cold – I’m so excited!

Anyway –

As I’ve already mentioned, work was hellacious today. If it wasn’t training, it was a meeting. If it wasn’t a meeting, it was writing objectives (blah). If it wasn’t writing objectives, it was prepping for a meeting. It’s a vicious cycle.

The rest of the week is busy as well. I ran into the BigMan today and he wants me to attend a dinner with him tomorrow night and a community meeting Thursday evening. I’m also covering a competition Thursday morning/afternoon and finally taking a tour of the building Friday. I figure the tour will come in handy since I’m supposed to give one in about a month. Go figure.

I’m glad I’m getting involved, although I am sad about the dinner tomorrow. Tomorrow is the big soccer game between Germany and Turkey. It’s supposed to be INSANE. Maybe I’ll catch the tail end of it.

Side note: So I have this sign I put on my office door that I took from my Dad’s recruiting stash. On one side it says, Open, on the other side it has a clock and says, we will return at. You know the basic store signs.

So during the past two days, I’ve noticed the hands of my clock aren’t always the way I left them. Although it’s really not all that important now, as I get more heavily involved in work people will actually come looking for me. At least, that’s the idea.

So I ask the person in the next office and she says one of her friends keeps changing my clock because he’s “stalking” me. I guess he’s seen me in the hall and wants an introduction. I guess he thinks moving the hands on my clock is cute. I find it annoying. I’m contemplating putting up another sign that says “YO, BACK IT UP”, but I’m sure the wrong person would see it.

It’s not just me is it? I mean, this IS odd behavior, right?

Alright – better get going. I need sleep.

PS – My washing machine is also a dryer. Weird AND random, right?

Cheers,
Jen

Teaser

2008-06-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

You know you’ve had a long night when you wake up in the morning and your first conscious thought is, “I threw up in my hand on the way home last night.”

All - would love to share this post with you regarding Friday night, but cannot bring myself to publish this on an open site.

Visit "The Juicy Bits" to get the scoop - let me know if you need access, since it's by email only.

I have a home!

2008-06-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the housing office and signed the lease for my new apartment. I had planned on moving in toward the beginning of July, but the apartment is ready now and they “encouraged” me to move in Monday.

Really, they kind of steamrolled me into moving in early, but that’s beside the point.

I am thrilled to finally have a place to call my own, six flights of stairs and all. However, I still have a lot of paperwork to fill out and financial things to settle. The government pays for my housing so I need to ensure all of my forms are in order. I can’t afford the $3,000 a month rent all on my own!

To celebrate my new home I think I will bum a ride to IKEA – yay!

The rest of the day was spent running errands. I opened a new bank account, mailed my change of address forms, etc. I also got a cell phone!

The best way to do the cell phone thing over here is to buy a cheap pre-paid phone. It’s so simple. You get the 19 Euro phone and add a 30 Euro card to your plan. My plan works where if I’m talking to someone else on T-mobile or a landline, I pay 29 cents for the first minute and the rest of the call is free. All other calls are 19 cents a minute. Any incoming calls are free – even if they’re from the States!

Now the key is to memorize the dozen numbers that make up my cell number. Between that phone and my work phone, I’ll need to carry a card in my wallet to keep things straight.

Things at the hospital are going well. Every time I turn around there’s another meeting I need to attend or another project team to join. People at the hospital are also starting to recognize me.

Probably because I’ve decided to turn on some Texas charm and chat up anyone willing to get within arms length. Bus stop, hallways – it doesn’t matter.

They probably think I’m crazy.

On the plus side, with all of the work I’m being given (and generating on my own by introducing myself to anything with a pulse) I will not be bored...ever.

Although my posts may become less and less interesting. I’ll be sure to start going to festivals and drinking liter beers so I have more exciting news to report.

For example, I could spend some time talking about the Macedonian restaurant I went to with Amy. I ordered kebabs, but what I got were flattened sausages which were stuffed with cheese and then re-rolled with bacon around it. Talk about a heart attack waiting to happen! I think my arteries hate me…

Or I could talk about the Americans I saw on the train today. They were all fraternity guys, probably over here for a study abroad program. They were wearing Tri Delta shirts if that tells you anything…

Anyway, they were loud and completely lost. They couldn’t figure out which stop to get off at, but they still gave off an arrogant vibe. People always say we’re overly confident and carry ourselves with a certain arrogance native Germans don’t have. I really hadn’t noticed until today.

But, they’re absolutely right.

I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that we’re arrogant even when we’re the foreigners or the fact I’m kind of proud that we can still act confident in uncomfortable situations. It’s a toss up.

On another random note, I have to share this dream I had last night. The gang from DC knows I can have some really cracked out dreams and this one was up there with the best of them.

In my dream, I’m talking to KP and MySister. I don’t remember what we’re talking about. All of a sudden, there’s a knock at the door and MySister goes to open it. She lets two guys in, but I can only see one of them. He’s a big guy built like a football player and he has spiky blond hair. He’s wearing a uniform similar to a police officer.

He starts talking and says something along the lines of, “I’m officer so and so and this is my partner…”

Right around this time my brain kicks in and says these guys aren’t the real deal. I start walking toward them and ask them to step back outside. At which point, I would lock the door and ask for some credentials.

As I get closer to the blond guy, he reaches out and grabs me close to his chest and puts a knife to my throat. All I remember thinking is oh shit, they’re going to rape me, my sister and my good friend. Why the hell did we open the door? We have to fight. I feel the adrenaline start pumping and I wake up.

What the hell.

It’s about 3:30 in the morning and there’s no way I was going back to sleep. I drag all of my bedding to the living room and watch re-runs of Oprah until I pass out again.

The dream probably has something to do with feeling like things are out of my control or maybe warning me that people aren’t always who they say they are. Or maybe I saw something on the news before I went to bed. I’m not sure.

I thought about investing in a dream book, but that would probably just freak me out even more.

Side note: Ladies and gentlemen (but especially you ladies), the type of situation I described in my dream is really not unfathomable. When I worked for the PD in Arlington, there were cases of people impersonating officers to gain entry into homes. Whether it was to rob the joint or the rape anyone inside, it doesn’t matter.

If you EVER have someone come to your door who says they are with the police (or any other company for that matter) ASK them for their credentials before you open the door. If they have a badge, take down their number and call the police station to confirm they’re legit.

I know it’s a pain, but please do it. It could save your life.

And don’t worry about pissing off the officer. Any officer worth his salt will give you props for taking the proper precautions.

Okay, off my soapbox for today.

Tomorrow is a long day of training – blah. Send me some funny jokes so I have something to look forward to when I get home!

Cheers,
Jen

Notice!

2008-06-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

All -

I have decided to start a second blog - I know, I know... One should be enough. The key word being should.

The additional blog, called The Juicy Bits, will contain stories about drunken nights and merry debauchery - things that should not be shared on a public site!

If you want access to the "fun" stuff, shoot me an email and I'll add you to the list.

PS - This is not Germany-specific. I plan on including some of the more interesting nights we had while we were in the sorority. A flashback of sorts!

Jen

NO, I'M NOT MARRIED. YES, I'M A FEMALE.

2008-06-16T10:48:00.000-07:00

All –

Since today is Monday and we all had to go back to work I have decided to spare you my daily rant about how I can’t sleep. However, all bets are off for Tuesday.

This morning was uneventful as I only attended a meeting and read the paper. Regardless, I worked up an appetite and by noon I was starving. I decided to tag along with Amy and grab lunch.

We went to a Thai buffet near the office since I had claimed to enjoy Thai food the other day. I just prefer the not-so-spicy Thai. Anyway, the entire place was empty so I started having my doubts. Empty at 12:30? That’s a red flag for diarrhea and stomach problems.

She explained it’s because of the training holiday and most people are at home, not lining up to eat at the Thai buffet. Only time will tell if she was telling the truth. Good thing I’m such a sucker for a buffet.

Despite my misgivings, I gorged myself on eggrolls, fried crispy things and rice. Yum.

Afterward, we ran into a bit of trouble trying to get back on the installation. See, when you go through the gates they scan your ID card before you can pass through. Then cars are pulled at random – although I think attractive women and sports cars are more “random” than some – to be searched.

You have to get out of the car, open all the doors and the trunk etc. You also have to show your international driver’s license. Unfortunately, Amy couldn’t find her license and they told her she had to go home and get it. Who knew killing a few hours at work could be so easy?

So we head over to her temporary apartment and she rummages through all of her belongings only to come up empty. Then we dig through her car and come up with a whole lot of nothing. Not two minutes later, she found her license…in her purse.

This is something I would do. It’s really not our fault though. When you carry a large purse things tend to get lost inside. Don’t ask me how, they just do. I think the best solution is to manufacture purses with internal lights. So as soon as you unzip it, it lights up like a crackhead scoring a hit.

Hmm…The crackhead thing was kind of harsh…I’ve been reading way too many Tucker Max posts lately…

Long story short, she found her ID and dropped me off at housing.

I met with my counselor, told her I wanted the big apartment with the ridiculous stone steps and we made a verbal agreement. We’ll meet with the landlord Thursday to sign the paperwork. Exciting!

Then I went over to the Welcome Center to check another in-processing block. Yes, that’s right; I’m still doing in-processing stuff. The information they gave me was actually helpful, but the person working the counter rubbed me the wrong way - no, not like that - who’s a perv now?

She just naturally assumed I was a spouse. This, in and of itself, is not offensive. I’m glad in the sixty seconds she’d known me she decided I was likable enough to trap someone into spending eternity with me. What bothered me was that she didn’t think I was the one with a job.

When you sign in to these places you always have to check your status. Mine is always civilian, not family member because I’m the one with the government job. Makes sense, ja?

So she keeps asking if I’ll need help finding employment on the economy and not to worry my husband can come with me to the scary in-processing classes. What the hell?

AND this is not the first time this has happened. When I was scheduling the transportation of my goods at Quantico, the guy helping me actually had the audacity to ask if I was filling out paperwork for my husband. When I said no, he asked again just to be sure. Hey, dumbass, I’m pretty sure I know if I’m married.

Seriously, do I have a huge stamp on my forehead that says incompetent?

All I’m saying is what the hell is wrong with these people? We actually had a female competing for the presidency, but I can’t have a government job? I have to have a husband because I work for the Army? I must be a “dependent” because I’m female? Heaven forbid a single female under the age of 25 be able to support herself and have the balls to move to a foreign country on her own.

Bastards.

Not that I’m upset or anything…

On a lighter note, I was riding the strasse back to work and noticed all of the 80s-style mullets on the train. They’re not being sported by old folks either. Nope, the mullet is the hip new trend for teenagers and people in their 20s. I guess all trends really do recycle at some point.

Flashing forward - This evening I made a trip to the grocery store to buy things for dinner, including more bread.

I was very excited at the checkout because the cashier started speaking to me in German. I have no idea what she said, but the point is that she thought I would! I’m finally learning to blend in. Fortunately, people have been saying I have enough of a European look to fit in – you know, until I open my mouth. They also keep mentioning the French thing…do Germans like the French? I may need to research that…

Anyway, not only did I buy two brotchens, I bought two pretzels. I LOVE their pretzels.

I had been putting off buying them because you actually have to order them from the bakery. So today I sucked it up and managed to say zwei brezels without choking! I was so proud (and so hungry) I ate an entire pretzel on the way home….and I just finished the second one.

Now I’m ready for some lemon tea.

Side note, Danelli is throwing a soccer party tonight and making a special chili. It pained me to turn down the invite because we all know I love a good party, but I need to go to bed early. The commander is coming back from the States and I can’t afford to look worn out the first day I run into him.

Double side note, most of you know I’ve been living out of a suitcase for about six months now. It’s crazy how you forget about simple things. For example, today I met a guy in the credit card division who’s from Baltimore. I asked what part and he told me and he asked me where I lived. Would you believe I couldn’t remember where I lived? All I could remember was that it was near a huge Jewish community, which naturally, I had to share.

Forty-five minutes later I remembered, but that’s not really the point is it?

Cheers,
Jen

Sundays are slow days...

2008-06-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

All –

I am pleased to report I didn’t get up until almost noon today. Okay so, I didn’t actually go to bed until 1 and yes, I tossed and turned, but still almost 10 hours of sleep is nothing to complain about!

I spent the early part of the afternoon lounging around the apartment and watching one of two English-speaking channels on my television. I also spent time doing two very important things.

1) I started a load of laundry. This is not as easy as it sounds. German washers take approximately two hours to complete one load of laundry. This is if you use cold water. If you need hot water, it will take even longer. For whatever reason, German washers don’t have a hot water hook-up so the machines have to take cold water and heat it for each load. Needless to say, you can literally spend an entire day doing laundry. From what I understand, dryers also take a considerable amount of time. I opted to hang dry my clothes.

2) I spent time updating my Facebook profile. Well, I spent some time updating my profile. Then I spent countless hours playing the never-ending movie game. Why I couldn’t comprehend the idea that it would never end I’m not sure. I kept thinking surely the questions will start to recycle themselves and then I can safely walk away. But alas, there are still more questions left to answer.

Fortunately, my new friend Amy called. I met her at the CPAC office my very first day of work and we had agreed to have dinner or something later in the week. She came by the apartment and we headed downtown to the Hauptstrasse.

Most of the stores are closed on Sundays, but the restaurants are all open and some of the more touristy shops are open for a short window of time. We walked up and down the Hauptstrasse and she pointed out some good places to go shopping – yay!

I also took her to my potential apartment and I learned she will be living less than a block away. I think this is a sign I should take the big apartment with the stone steps. This means if something were to happen, she would be close by – not to mention she’s a doctor! So if I fall down the six flights of stone steps leading to my apartment, she’ll be able to treat me while we wait for the ambulance.

We had dinner at a small sushi place around the corner and have decided to become regular patrons. Everything just tastes so much better over here. I think because it’s more authentic. And because she’s a girl after my own heart, we stopped by the gelato place to get dessert.

I got home around 6 and started another load of laundry – you really have to be committed to the chore since it takes at least two hours – and tried to iron some. I quickly tired of ironing and opted to call my dad instead.

I ordered his gift late so I figured the least I could do was send an e-card with family photos and give him a call on father’s day. The rest of my family is actually in Texas right now so he’s probably enjoying the peace and quiet at home for a change.

He also said he’s been thinking long and hard about my apartment situation…he said I should take the big apartment with the stone stairs. You only live once, right?

Tomorrow I should meet with housing, although I can’t remember when my appointment is…might need to check on that…hopefully there won’t be any issues securing my new home. Fingers crossed.

Have a good Monday!

Cheers,
Jen

PS - Today I learned my friend Polly's dad passed away. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. Love ya, girl.

My one week anniversary

2008-06-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s official. I’ve been in Germany for one full week! Time flies…except when it comes to sleeping.

I’m still recovering from jetlag. Last night, I fell asleep on the couch relatively early (probably around 11), but I woke up at least a dozen times during the night. I finally got up close to 6 and moved to the bed. However, the comfort level wasn’t much better.

I don’t know if I’ve explained German beds before, but I’ll risk repeating myself. Let me just say that German beds are HARD. They have thin mattresses and they’re about as comfortable as a slab of concrete. Also, the linens they use are different.

They by-pass sheets altogether and use down comforters instead. Each side of the bed gets their own comforter, which you sleep on top of, and a pillow. Then there is one blanket that goes across the entire bed. At the moment, I’m sleeping on top of both comforters and using both pillows, but I still can’t get comfortable.

They should definitely invest in egg crates and sleep number mattresses.

Anyway, today I spent the afternoon with Dan and Kelli and their favorite couple, Sonja and Bryce. The best way to describe the four of them together is kind of how we act when we have mini-sorority reunions (i.e. when someone gets married or comes in to visit) or our intern rotation group.

They’re comfortable with each other, they’re loud and they use goofy voices.

Much to their credit, I only felt like the 5th wheel a handful of times. They’ve gone on several vacations together and have been hanging out for a year so naturally they have their own inside jokes, etc. All four of them were really good about explaining what the heck they were talking about so I would still feel included.

Anyway, we went to this great little town/village along the river and took care of business straight off the bat – we ate lunch. We went to this great restaurant and sat on the deck overlooking the river. I had a radler, which is half lemonade, half beer (it’s fabulous) and of course, a bratwurst with fries. One thing is for sure, I’m not going to go hungry.

Afterward, we went hiking – I know you probably can’t picture me hiking, but I was! – We went up to a couple of smaller castles on the hill. The first had a wicked set of stairs and you spent half the time in the dark trying to find the next step. When we went back down all you could hear were feet shuffling. Each of us was trying to shuffle to the first step so we wouldn’t fall down the stairs!

The view at the top was beautiful because you could see the nearby town and river. The only sad part was all of the graffiti and carvings that were in the wood at the top of the tower. On the one hand, it’s really disgraceful and takes away from the natural beauty and history of the place. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the carvings. There were plenty of hearts with names inside and I kept wondering what happened to the couples who visited in 1985 and felt the need to carve their names in a castle. Did they get married and come to visit once a year? Is this where they had their first date? Or maybe where he proposed? Or did the whole thing end in divorce? Or turn out to be just a fling? Maybe the “f- you” written in blue over the heart happened three months after the initial carving?

Of course, while I’m thinking these things everyone is ooohing and aaahhing over the view. I have to pull myself back together so I can make it down the stairs.

Next, we venture to a second castle further in the woods. By this point, I’m thinking I should’ve worn better shoes. There aren’t many guardrails and it’s a long way to the base of the hill. We finally make it to the second place and admire the view from a slightly different angle. Then we decide to hike up the stairs one more time.

Keep in mind these stairs are very narrow, very steep and made of stone. They also have old handrails attached to the stairs, but they could easily fall off. I learned the art of holding the rail to keep your balance, but not putting any of your weight on it so it wouldn’t be tempted to break loose.

Now the final set of stairs leading to the tower were made of wood and didn’t have a backing so you’re foot could easily go through the stairs and get stuck. For me, this is a GIANT RED FLAG. I mean, really, how old are these stairs? When was the wood installed? Is this really safe? Is that stone going to break my fall? Hell.

Kelli and I are the last two to climb the stairs and she’s behind me bringing up the rear. Halfway up the stairs I decide this isn’t a good idea, but can’t stop because Kelli is right there. I keep going and pray there is a magical elevator inside the tower which will take me back to sweet solid ground.

To top things off, there’s not much to see once we get up there. Just a few more windows and a higher view…of the same thing we’ve been looking at. Ah and no elevator.

So it’s time to go back down and Kelli and I are bringing up the rear again. I’m trying to steady myself because at this point, I’ve already looked down and am feeling nauseous. What the hell was I thinking? Earlier Dan had noticed I wasn’t “digging” the wooden stairs and assured me they were probably 10 years old and completely safe. So when Sonja yelled back up to tell us one of the stairs had just broken, I nearly fell out.

Are you serious? Kelli looked at me and said yes, she was completely serious. So we walk down these steep, rundown stairs and about halfway we get to the broken step. CRAP. Someone had stepped on the step and broken it in half.

I gingerly step one side and realize it won’t hold my weight even temporarily. Had I stepped down on it, I surely would’ve broken through the entire step and fallen to the stone ground below. Instead I stretched my legs to the step beyond the broken one and braced myself with my arms between the wall and the rail. Thank the Lord I have been blessed with long legs.

I get to the bottom and heave a huge sigh of relief when I start walking on solid ground again. Owning a castle would be cool, but I wouldn’t want this one!

But before I continue with our shenanigans, let me say that I really enjoyed walking around the old castle ruins today. I know it’s crazy, but walking around the woods and climbing old castle stairs is cool. At least the unbroken sets of stairs…

Around 4 p.m. we decided to head back toward the car.

Next stop – Kelli and Dan’s for some red wine and backyard golf. Well, the guys played golf and the girls lounged and chatted. We were absolutely exhausted. Hiking on a full stomach is tiring.

Anyway, Sonja and Bryce end up leaving to go to a work party and I stayed to have dinner with Danelli (it’s like TomKat or Brangelina). Kelli and I practice my German while Dan runs to the Reve for supplies. I can now say my alphabet and the numbers 1-10. Granted, I still have to look at the words while I say them but progress is progress!

We had a kind of appetizerish dinner where there’s a plate of different types of cheeses and one with meats and two types of bread and guacamole, etc. Anyway, basically you make different combinations. For example, I had toasted sunflower seed bread coated with an herb cheese and a bruschetta mixture on top. It was delicious.

Ah and Kelli and Sonja have agreed to teach me how to cook. Sonja is 100% Italian and promised she could teach someone “kitchen-challenged” like me. Kelli is going to teach me basic cooking skills.

Anyway, I got home close to 10 and now it’s a little after 11. I’m tired. I think I’ll probably go to bed now and see if I can actually catch some zzz’s!

Cheers,
Jen

One week down!

2008-06-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

Hello all – Another day another dollar, right?

This morning I rode the streetcar to work and learned what to do if the “walking man” sign that tells you to cross the street doesn’t work. You wait until there’s a large group of people and then you all walk out into oncoming traffic at the same time. One man held his hand up to tell the oncoming traffic to stop and yield the right of way to us.

Normally, I wouldn’t willingly walk in front of a moving vehicle, but I didn’t know how else to get to work. Fortunately, all of us made it across the road safely. Well, except for that one old woman. She got clipped because her walker got stuck and the driver didn’t anticipate her sudden stop.

Just kidding.

Today was a training holiday for our service members so there were only civilians working along with a few high-ranking people trying to catch up on work. I finally got my badge so now people will know I’m allowed to roam the property without being questioned. The issuing official said I should feel special because I get a badge with a red stripe, which is only for very important people. I found this amusing because not five minutes before, she had asked me what my title was and I didn’t know the answer. Public affairs specialist? Manager? Supervisor? I decided to go with Public Affairs Officer. I’m the only one there, what can they say?

Eventually I headed over to the transportation center to check on my household goods. I should expect them the last week of July or first week of August. It seems like an awfully long time to go without the rest of my shoes. You know and furniture and all that…

I met up with Kelli for lunch (Taco Bell) and then we went down to the main street, called the Hauptstrasse, to look at two apartments.

First, let me say this is a prime location. This is where all of the nice clothing stores are, where all the pubs and restaurants are and where people our age like to spend their time. It’s right off a streetcar line so I’ll have easy access to public transportation and if you walk in the other direction you’ll run right into the castle.

Next, the landlord is fantastic. He and his wife seem like very nice people and they have a great track record with the housing office. The landlord kind of reminds me of a mix of Tim Robbins and Anderson Cooper.

The first apartment we saw was a maisonette, which I think means a split level place. It was about 900 sq feet and we think it was on the 3rd or 4th floor. It’s really hard to tell because it’s a winding staircase and I forgot to count. Once you hit the second floor you really try to concentrate on
breathing.

On the bottom floor there are two nice-sized bedrooms and a bathroom. The top floor has a nice open kitchen with an area for a kitchen table and a small balcony. The living room is cozy and if you look out the windows you can see the Hauptstrasse.

It was a nice place, but the carpet on the first floor was kind of dingy and the bathroom was too small for my taste. So we headed over to the next building, which is really only across the street.

This apartment is also on the top floor and about 1200 sq feet. Again, Kelli and I didn’t count the floors, but we think it’s probably five or six stories high. At least, that’s what my thighs were screaming at me. Did I mention there aren’t any elevators?

Also, this building is really cool because it was built in 1780. The winding staircase is actually made out of stone and it’s the oldest set of stairs in Heidelberg. By the time we reached the top we were short on breath and slightly dizzy.

This apartment is all on one level, which I think I prefer. There’s a huge master bedroom with a bigger bathroom, a smaller spare bedroom (which would be a great place to write) and an L-shaped kitchen. There’s room for a dining room table in one part of the “L” and the actual kitchen makes up the other part.

The living room is a nice size with high ceilings and you can see the beams of the roof – it gives the room some character for sure. When you look out the window you can see Heidelberg Castle to your left and the church right in front.

The only problem is that the ceiling is leaking in the master bedroom. Something happened when it rained and they’ve called someone to fix it. The apartment would be ready by the end of next week.

It also already has furnishings and the landlord said I could either use them until my furniture comes in or keep it for the duration of my stay. I thought that was nice.

Also, both apartments come with parking garage spaces. Another requirement met!

Although, there is one downside. Four to six flights of stairs is bad enough when you’re just carrying a purse. Think about carrying up a suitcase! Granted, I won’t have visitors 365 days a year, but the trip up is going to be brutal. If any of you are thinking of coming to visit (and I hope you are!) make sure you pack light!

Anyway, so now I’m debating whether or not I should take the second apartment. I really love the apartment, the location and the vibe that I’m getting.

However, people have mentioned I should wait to see if something better comes along. Then again, what if I give up the apartment and nothing else comes along? I have to decide by Monday because we only get to “think” about each place for a few days. Then the housing office opens it back up to the public so other people can rent the apartment. Decisions, decisions.

I did talk to my dad about it briefly and he said if it feels right I should just do it. You gotta have the feel good vibes, you know?

Anyway, enough about that. I’ve just turned on the television and it looks like Friday night prime time TV includes American Gladiators. Not the really awesome old one, but the new one hosted by Hulk Hogan. What’s up with that?

OH and one more thing. When I got home from work I walked to the grocery store and bought yogurt, fresh bread and salt tabs (they’re for the washing machine – something about the hard water) all by myself!

I was so excited I ate both pieces of farmer’s bread (hey they were small!) with jelly for dinner. I guess you could call it untoasted toast.

I had been waiting to get fresh bread because it’s so addicting. Once you’ve had it, you’ve got to have it again. Did I mention there is a bakery right across from my potential apartment? This may become a deciding factor…

Cheers!
Jen

House Hunting, Farewells and Football

2008-06-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

This morning I had an appointment with the housing office. I sat down with a housing counselor and we discussed how much money I would be given for rent, utilities, ect. Then we chose four potential locations for me to view. Three are owned by the same landlord while the other is independently owned.

All of the locations are in downtown Heidelberg and come with either a parking space or a garage spot, which are my two biggest requests.

Much to my surprise, I was able to see one of the apartments within the hour. The housing team gave me a map and some directions and sent me on my way. I was a little nervous at first because I had to switch streetcars, but it all worked out in the end. The only problem with finding your way around is that the street signs aren’t located in very visible locations. You may find them on the side of a building or you may not find them at all. Fortunately, my directions were good enough to get me to the right street.

The apartment is actually located in a nice part of town with easy streetcar access, but I didn’t get a warm and fuzzy feeling. One, I’m really lazy and the apartment is on the fourth or fifth floor sans elevator. I can’t imagine carrying bottled water, groceries or luggage up and down those stairs. Two, it was the top floor of the building so all of the ceilings were slanted because of the roof. It made me feel claustrophobic. Finally, I know buildings in this part of town are old, but this apartment just looked worn out. I decided to pass.

I made my way back to the office just in time for the hail and farewell party. I didn’t know the person who was leaving, but I was told I should come and meet people and eat the free food. Done and done.

This wasn’t like any farewell I’ve ever been to. Yes, they say a few words and get an award – that’s not weird. The weird part was when it was time to eat. Everyone filled their plates and sat in chairs along the wall. They all kind of talked to their neighbor. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m used to mingling and having small groups form to talk about the latest gossip…

It just wasn’t user-friendly. Needless to say, I ended up next to one of our deputies and he made me feel like a total idiot. Why I would know he was not only a deputy, but a such and such advisor is beyond me. But apparently, he felt I should’ve known and should stay in my lane. He wasn’t rude about it, but I got the message. Later I discussed this with someone else who explained no one really knows whose lane is whose because so many people play dual roles for both our organization and higher HQ.

It’s terribly confusing.

However, I have gotten past it and decided not to feel bad anymore (y’all know I’m a dweller). Why should I feel stupid for not knowing who he is? I’ve only been here since Monday! For crying out loud…

Anyway, I also spent some time talking to Ivy (the one with the awesome apartment). Apparently he knows someone who has a killer place downtown and there’s about to be an opening. I’m going to check it out tomorrow - fingers crossed.

He also mentioned he likes my shoes :) It made me think of DINFOS – y’all know what I’m talking about. Anyway, it just reaffirmed how much I love my silver metallic shoes. Every time I wear them, people notice them. I think it’s because when the light hits them the right way, it bounces off and temporarily blinds them, but I’m not sure.

I also saw some guys at the streetcar stop checking out my shoes. Which leads me to believe one of three things:

1) You don’t see many people in Germany wearing silver metallic heels so you have to stare.

2) You’ve been blinded and it’s like looking into the sun. You just have to do it again.

3) They think I’m a prostitute.

Now let me expand on number three. A few years ago, a good friend of mine studied abroad in France. She told me the heat was unbearable and she decided to go out in shorts and a halter top. Well in Europe, most women don’t wear revealing clothes. In June, women wear long skirts, long pants/shorts or capris. Anyway she started to notice that men were following her down the street so they could watch her walk in her shorts. Eventually, someone pointed out that the men thought she was a prostitute. All because of her clothes!

Maybe the same goes for shiny shoes! Okay, it’s a stretch…but you never know!

This afternoon didn’t amount to much. I managed to find a trash can. Do you know how sad it is to have to ask someone for a trash can? Yeah…Now imagine that being one of the most productive things you did the last half of the day…

Okay, I technically did more than that, but it really felt like things were dragging. To be fair, I did manage to scrounge up some post-it notes and a steno pad.

I was really looking forward to this evening because the Euro Football Championship has started and Germany was playing tonight. I was supposed to meet up with Kelli, Dan and his co-workers so I could see the “crazy” football fans, but it started to rain.

We had reservations at an outdoor location so they decided to move to an indoor bar. Unfortunately, it was already full by the time they got there. In the end, we went to a café which was actually two buildings away from the apartment I had looked at earlier in the day.

Which was exactly why I thought I could safely navigate a car full of people there.

I was riding with Kelli and Dan and we were running late. While the others were looking for a place to go, we were stuck in traffic going into Heidelberg. One of the girls was on the phone with Kelli trying to explain how to get to the place and I recognized the street name from earlier today. It’s one of the spokes on this huge roundabout. Dan was thrilled because they had left their GPS and
weren’t 100 percent sure of the location.

So we get to the roundabout and nothing looks familiar. I was pointing at the streetcar (since that’s how I got there) and said we should just have to cross the street and shazaam – we’ll be there. So he goes in that direction and of course, it’s wrong. So now we’re going the wrong way and we don’t know how to turn around. We end up about 20 minutes in the wrong direction, finally turn around and then try the roundabout again.

Of course, I feel horrible because I told him to go the wrong way. Plus, tension in the car is high because we’re late and we’re lost in a city that doesn’t believe in street signs.

Being the genius that I am, I realize I was turned around and we should’ve gone in the opposite direction. Duh, streetcars run two ways like the metro, I just had it backward. At this point, all you can do is laugh. And be grateful beer is on the way.

We go into the café and meet up with his co-workers, who are all very nice, but I still feel uncomfortable. I’m trying to learn German phrases and I do pretty well for the most part, except when I’m around his co-workers. It’s one thing to struggle with German in front of Americans. It’s an entirely different thing to struggle with German in front of Germans.

Plus, they all look at you when it’s time to order to see what you’re going to say. Things I can normally say suddenly become jumbled and incomprehensible. Then you just feel foolish.

I also have an issue with setting unreasonable expectations for myself, which makes it worse. I mean, yes, I've only been in Germany for 6 days and no, I've never taken German classes, but is it so unreasonable to expect myself to be fluent by the end of the week? Is it? The answer is YES. I should be happy I can order beer and ice cream, not sad I can't speak German as well as...you know, Germans.

I've really got to work on getting some patience and on making realistic expectations. We're always hardest on ourselves, right?

I think I may look into a German tutor. You know someone who could actually take the time to teach me the right way to say things and would actually speak slowly enough to where I could understand them. That would be fabulous and well worth the money.

In the end, I still had a good time. The beer was good, the pizza was good and the people were friendly. The only downside was that Germany lost. They play again next Monday.

Tomorrow is a training holiday for everyone but civilians. I think I’m going to wear jeans and have ice cream for lunch. Just thought I would end on a happy note.

Cheers,
Jen

Hump Day

2008-06-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

Hello all –

Today I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and a really annoying German alarm clock. I knew almost instantly it was going to be a half and half day. Half enjoyable, half irritating. I should really look into becoming a fortune teller.

I was really excited this morning because I was going in for my housing briefing. You can’t look for a new apartment or house until you check this block. It took a little over an hour, but by 10:00 I was ready to meet with a counselor and pick out some available spots to go view. Since we’re in Germany, the housing office takes care of just about everything. They show you the listings, you visit them, you pick the one you want and it’s yours. Easy as pie.

However, since I’m Jen things didn’t quite work out the way I had planned them. Remember how I mentioned the half and half day? Half enjoyable because I had a meeting with my counselor right off the bat, half irritating because once I sat down with her we both realized there was an issue.

One, I was misinformed by another department and didn’t have the rates I needed to start looking for a place to live. Two, my orders were missing a very important phrase which ensures the government will pay for my housing. Oy vey.

So I had to re-book my appointment for tomorrow and my little spirits were crushed. Bummer. I spent the next hour or so trying to straighten everything out so I would be set for tomorrow. After that, I headed toward the PX to buy pantyhose, which I’m sure you wanted to know, and then waited for the shuttle to take me to work.

I get to work and realize my sponsor is unavailable so I head to my office and run into the girl who had shown me my office in the first place. Remember, she’s the one who said I should go out with her over the weekend, but I thought it was a pity friend date?

As it turns out, she was uber-friendly today and we chatted in the parking lot for awhile. Then I headed to my office to sort through everything. I spent a good half an hour just untangling wires and cords from my keyboard, mouse, phone, etc. During this time a couple of people stopped by and introduced themselves, which was nice. Except, after they said who they were and how excited they were I was finally here they started giving me stuff to do. Keep in mind I have no working computer, a dead phone, zero access to email and for all intents and purposes, a non-functioning office.

Oh and for my fellow PA/PR brethren, the only AP Stylebook I could find was from 1994. CRAP.

Then my new next door neighbor stops by to ensure I’ll be at the 4:30 meeting. Who the hell holds a meeting at 4:30? Especially in this line of work? It’s time to go home! Anyway, I told her I didn’t know anything about it, but that I would be there.

By this time it’s about 1:30 and I still haven’t eaten lunch. The bad part is that I wasn’t even hungry. Y’all know I’m ALWAYS hungry. Must be jetlag.

So I eat a granola bar and head out to do more in-processing work. I think I walked the entire complex at least three times going from building to building. Now I’m at the health screening checkpoint. They need my old medical records, shot files and my first born child. What the hell.

Ah and since this is a four day weekend (they have training holidays over here – not me) they won’t be able to help me until next week, which delays my security badge. Sigh.

Fully defeated I head back to my office so I can go to the meeting I know absolutely nothing about. I was assured I would just have to sit there and smile so they could introduce me. Like that ever happens.

So we’re in this meeting and she introduces me and someone calling into the meeting starts tasking me! I was completely blown away. Long story short, I’m traveling next Tuesday to a health fair. I’ll let you know how that turns out. Honestly, I think it will be a good experience and I’m glad I get to go, but I really felt bombarded.

They really needed a PAO. I know they’ve told me that multiple times, but I’m really starting to FEEL it now.

After the meeting I met up with the girl I was talking to earlier – we’ll call her Megan – and she offers to take me to her friend’s place downtown so I can scope out the area.

We stopped at her apartment on the way – which is huge – and it turns out we have a lot in common. We both read the Harry Potter series, she owns the movie Bridget Jones’ Diary and we stopped on the way to get wine. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Her friend’s apartment – we’ll call him Ivy because he kind of reminds me of Phi Delta Theta Ivy – has an AMAZING apartment. This place is huge and it’s centrally located. The ceilings are sky-high and he has a number of balconies. There is no reason this one man needs this much space. Although he did say his ping-pong table would take up one room. Anyway, I’m immensely jealous…

And immensely embarrassed - some of you may enjoy this bit – Ivy was wearing a t-shirt (this guy is really built) and some basketball shorts. Well, the way he’s standing in the kitchen is really odd and his shorts keep bunching up in the front. I couldn’t stop staring. Seriously. Every time I looked at him I would see the weird shape of his shorts out of the corner of my eye and have to look. It just got worse because I kept thinking about it and you know how that goes. Hell, if you think about blinking you start to do it consciously. Anyway…

It wouldn’t have been so bad, but I’m pretty sure he caught me. When we sat down to eat, he went to put on pants. I was so busted. He probably thinks I’m a total perv. I thought y’all would appreciate that, especially those of you who know about the tour guides :)

He also had a friend over who is taking a course in the area this week. They’re both nice enough, which remember, is the half that is enjoyable. However, as always, things take a turn for the worse.

The irritating half just has to step in.

Most of the time, people try not to offend strangers. Right? Well, MOST of the time. Anyway, they started talking about living arrangements and the one friend decides it would be beneath him to live alongside enlisted personnel. EXCUSE ME?

I will not go into the details of everything that was said, but I nearly laid him out. So did Megan. Naturally, Ivy leapt to his defense. It was terrible. He said he was sorry for acting like an asshole, but he didn’t want to live next to people who were just “getting out of jail time”.

Needless to say, we left shortly after that. I was thoroughly disgusted with his behavior. For someone who claims to be “highly educated” he sure was an idiot.

Now I’m back at my lovely apartment and trying to wind down. I had another restless night and I’ve really got to get some sleep. This is borderline ridiculous.

Cheers,
Jen

Work: Day 2

2008-06-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

Today was another day of in-processing at work. There is a long checklist I have to complete which includes things like mandatory training (ugh), security and computer access stuff. I finished the first two (sort of) this morning before lunch.

I say I finished the mandatory training, but really all I did was schedule it. Apparently, I have to take a hospitality training course that lasts half a day. Crazy. I wonder if that’s why everyone has been so nice?

For example, today I waited for at least half an hour for the security people and had a very nice time talking to a guy who was out-processing. He was telling me all about the fun times he had at the clubs and bars and random trips to Paris. Too bad he’s leaving – he probably would’ve been a lot of fun.

Another example – when I finally made it into the security office they were “very professional” as Uncle Tony would say until I told them I am the new PAO. All of a sudden both of them leapt from their chairs and starting jumping up and down. They were so excited! Why security would be excited about a new PAO I’m not sure, but they were.

Then they proceeded to tell me how I don’t have big shoes to fill. In fact, they said they were more like sandals. I almost feel sorry for the guy who was here – people did not care for him at all. They were calling him a fake PAO - Which I guess really isn't all that nice...

However, it all balanced back out when I met a nice guy who helped me register for some of my training. He was more than happy to sit and chat about work and family, etc.

I am definitely starting to feel more and more like this was the right decision. One thing I have noticed is that everyone I’ve run into is more than willing to sit and have a conversation with you – no strings attached. The guy who made my ID card, the specialist I called for help, the lady administering the training – it doesn’t matter. They’re all uber-friendly.

There are really only three explanations –

1) I’m so used to rubbing elbows with rude people in DC, the average friendly person suddenly seems like an above-average friendly person.

2) Everyone has adopted the more relaxed, enjoyable German lifestyle.

3) The hospitality training paid off.

Either way you slice it, I think I’m going to enjoy working here. Plus, I met my boss today and although we only chatted for about 10 minutes, he seems like he’ll be a great supervisor. He’s very forward-thinking and believes in the power of good public affairs. Right on.

Also, his admin. is great. I think I overheard her talking to someone else in the office about how young I am, but she balanced it out by saying I’m much cuter than the last guy.

I like her already.

I also had my first DFAC experience today. It's not worth writing about. All I’ll say is that today was Chinese day and I’ll probably pay for my meal later. Not in Euros.

Oh and I bought my monthly pass for the Strasse so I can ride back and forth stress-free. Yay! It’s kind of like an above-ground metro, but ten times cleaner. You wouldn’t think riding the Strasse home from work would be a big deal, but I felt so accomplished. Wow, I can get to work and get back home all by myself. It’s the little things we take for granted in the States that can be so rewarding over here.

Kelli came over this afternoon and showed me around the local grocery store, Reve. It's so interesting to go into a German grocery store because even the way they package food is different. Not to mention all of the different wursts - white wursts, spicy wursts, marinated wursts. YUM! There are dozens of fresh cheeses, lots of fresh bread and tasty cookies. I heart the Reve.

Kelli's husband Dan met up with us afterward and we all went to dinner in Leimen, which is where I’m living. The European Soccer Championship is going on right now so we sat outside and watched the big screen with several other people. I had this amazing banana beer – seriously, it was delicious – followed by some killer ice cream. Life is good. Expanding belly is bad.

Anyhow, things are getting better. My housing briefing is tomorrow so maybe I’ll get some idea of where I’m going to live. Exciting.

Hope all is well,
Jen

My first day as an OCONUS employee...

2008-06-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

All –

Happy Monday! Today was my first day of “work” as an OCONUS employee.
Early this morning (0900), my PA supervisor picked me up at the Keller Residence. He isn’t what I expected looks-wise, although I’m not really sure what I expected…he’s just not it, you know? Anyway, he’s a nice guy and he dropped me off at the CPAC office near the shopping center.

My appointment was at 1000, but when I got there they said it was at 0900 and I was late. I still believe it was for 1000 and should double-check my old emails to confirm I was correct – Fortunately, they didn’t write me on the calendar for either time so they had to see me. Go figure.

Everything went smoothly, but the financial stuff was kind of an issue. Apparently, they’ll advance you money for your lodging, but not for food. This really isn’t an issue since I’m just taking care of me. But they said when you find a place to live you usually has to put down two months’ rent for a deposit plus your first month’s rent. They don’t help with this so they offer up to six pay periods of your salary as a loan. Of course, you have to pay it back. Things are really starting to add up…. So I’ve decided not to worry about it until I have to – otherwise, I’d probably have an aneurism.

On a positive note, I ran into someone else at the CPAC office who was transferring onto post. As it turns out, she’ll be working in the same complex as me! She’s very nice AND she’s single! Finding single friends over here is going to be a lot like dating I think…Anyway, she’s been in Germany for a while and said it’s very hard to find single people to go out with so I think we’ll meet up at some point for dinner. Yay!

After all this, I was pawned off by CPAC onto a poor unsuspecting Soldier who also needed to go to the ID card office. He was my “escort”. Too bad he and his wife are moving to Texas – he was nice. So I waited around for about two hours to take care of my ID card (my picture is WAY worse this time) and caught the shuttle to my building.

Of course, once I get to the bus stop I have no idea where to go. I just walk into a random office and ask to use their phone. As it turns out, it’s one of our offices. The guy I was talking to said he thought public affairs was non-existent. Great. On top of that, my sponsor doesn’t pick up his phone so I ask where his office is and wander around the complex until I find him. Keep in mind it’s hot, there are lots of stairs/hills and there is no AC. Tomorrow, I’m wearing a bathing suit to work.

At the office I met his deputy, who was wearing cowboy boots, black wranglers and a cowboy hat. No joke. He’s as nice as can be though and he took me over to where I’ll be working. Our first stop was to meet the adjutant, who has been doing a lot of the PA work. She’s really cute, about my age and very busy. After she showed me my office she told me we should hang out over the weekend because there aren’t very many people our age in the area. I think we may go to the movies or meet up with some other “young” people.

Oh and have I mentioned enough times that I’ll have my own office? CRAZY! Granted, it’s an absolute wreck. They just put carpet down so none of the electronics are hooked up and there are binders piled high. I need to go in and weed through the trash.

Apparently, most of it is going to be trash. The guy before me didn’t do squat. As it turns out, he wasn’t even a PA person. He was some random guy who got thrown into the position because he was web-capable. Which is such a joke because I don’t even care for their Web site. Anyway, they said he just made up random tasks for himself and goofed off.

He left in January, but the deputy said he quit working in August and to be honest, he probably didn’t do much for the past 3.5 years. On the bright side, anything I do should look fabulous. On the down side, there’s going to be a lot of creating from scratch.

Also, I asked the deputy if there would be some sort of list of tasks or expectations and he said he wasn’t sure. I’m all about working outside the box, but I’m hoping there’s some sort of guidance at some point – geez.

But moving on – so the PA supervisor and I leave early so I can buy some VAT forms. Whenever you buy something on the economy that’s more than 100 Euro they encourage you to use VAT forms because it takes off the tax (which is 19% - ouch!). Then we stop by the Keller Residence office (where I’m staying) so I can drop off the forms. One of the guys who works there has excellent English and is very nice and helpful.

So naturally, when he calls me thirty minutes later I’m a little confused. Wow, he’s really concerned about my stay, right? WRONG. Scatterbrained Jen left her wallet on his desk. CRAP.
So I haul my butt over there as fast as my legs will take me. Thank goodness I remember how to get there – it’s across the street and around the corner and down the hill etc…

I grab my wallet, which was just as I left it, and ended up talking to the guy for about an hour. He suggested we grab coffee downtown sometime so he can show me the area. He’s convinced I should live downtown near the river because I’m single and only fuddy-duddies with families live in the burbs. He’s so funny.

When I got back home I started Rosetta stone and now recognize the words for woman, horse, auto, plane, elephant and young boy. You can only imagine the small sentences I can now piece together.

Ah and then I fell asleep on the couch until Kelli called and woke me up. She’s volunteered her husband to pick me up tomorrow because she doesn’t want me to ride the streetcar until someone has gone with me. It’s really for the best because I would have to buy a ticket from the conductor and I have no idea what to say.

Tomorrow should be another long day of in processing. Maybe I’ll go to my office to air it out – it’s kind of musty.

Hope all is well!
Jen

My move to Germany...

2008-06-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

All –

CRAP. That is a less vulgar version of the word I was thinking when I landed in Germany. Remember how y’all kept asking if I was nervous or overwhelmed or insane and how my response would always be how I was still kind of in shock and it hadn’t really hit me I was leaving the States?

Well…it finally hit me.

But first…

The plane ride wasn’t so bad.

I was in nearly the last row of the plane, but I was in an aisle seat and sat next to a very cute boy who was probably about 13. I said hi to him and he said bonjour, so I assumed he was French. However, all of the flight attendants were speaking French and he spoke to them in English so maybe he thought I was French? I don’t know, it’s very confusing and not really part of the story anyway. Although I feel like I should say he was a very good row partner and didn’t make me get up once so he could use the restroom. His bladder must be huge. But I digress…

Like I was saying, I was absolutely fine on the plane. They were showing the movie 27 Dresses which proved a nice distraction for a couple of hours. When we landed, we stopped on the tarmac and we all deplaned outside, which I thought was odd. On the bright side, they opened doors at both ends of the plane so I went from the last seat to being one of the first ones out. We loaded onto shuttles, which took us to another part of the airport.

I was wandering around looking for baggage claim, which wasn’t all that hard since they also had signs in English, and at this point I’m still fine. Then I get in line to show my passport to security and I start feeling a little squeamish.

The officer waves me up and says good morning in German. I’d write it here, but have no idea how to spell it. At this point, I start feeling sort of uneasy. He scans my passport, stamps it and hands it back saying good-bye. Naturally, I go to take it, but accidentally fling the passport back at him. Not good. I mutter an apology and head toward baggage. By now, I’m feeling edgy. My brain is beginning to absorb the idea I will be around Germans, who speak German whereas I don’t. Not to mention, my French does not come in handy because none of their words are similar. You would think I would’ve realized this before I left the country, but I must’ve blocked it out. At this point, I have one of the many, “oh CRAP” moments.

Kelli and Dan were waiting for me right outside of customs and I was so grateful they were there. They pushed my “oh crap” feeling to the background for a while. They are two of the nicest people and I really enjoyed spending the day with them. They also seem to genuinely enjoy spending time with each other which is so nice since so many people are unhappy with their relationships. I can honestly say, I was also a little jealous and really missed Brandon yesterday. Doing this move with someone else would have been so much easier because you have someone to lean on for support. Oh well, Dan and Kelli will just have to adopt me or something :)

Anyway, so they helped me lug all of my suitcases up to my temporary apartment. I’m on the fourth floor and there aren’t any elevators. My apartment is HUGE. It’s a two-bedroom with a full bath and a half bath. There are these huge windows and they have special blinds that can make the rooms pitch black in the middle of the day. After brushing my teeth and a quick change we headed to downtown Heidelberg where all of the shops are. We walked around and made our way to a restaurant for a late lunch. I had a beer, a bratwurst, sauerkraut and fried potatoes. It was awesome.

Now Dan is a teacher and one his co-workers was throwing a grill party that evening. They invited me along since I was still standing (apparently, they didn’t make it long their first day because of jetlag) and I went to keep Kelli company since she really doesn’t know his co-workers very well.

The drive itself isn’t bad, but we have no idea where we’re going. The TomTom could only help so much and then we were on our own. We drove up and down these tiny streets (if you can even call them that) on this huge hill looking for the party, but had zero luck. Eventually, we call Katarina, one of the other teachers who lives in the area and we meet up with her.

We went up into her apartment, which is the standard 300 sq. feet. I know what you’re thinking because I was thinking it too – 300 sq. feet? That’s a glorified living room, how the hell do you fit an entire apartment in there?

But apparently that’s fairly normal and to be honest, she made it work. Go figure.

So she joins our car and we go off looking for the party again. She’s very nice and fluent in English, which is helpful… at least when she was talking to me. We end up going down a windy road that looks desolate – had we been in Texas I’d be afraid of getting shot for trespassing. Katarina sees a woman walking her dog and asks her where to go in rapid-fire German. Apparently, we were going the right way. It kind of makes me think of Little Red Riding Hood in the forest – We all agreed later we never would gone down the odd path except Katarina was sure we were going in the right direction. And of course, she was right. When in Germany, follow the Germans. Odd concept, right?

So we get there and there are only a handful of people standing around. The party started at 6, we got there at 7 and we later found out most people wouldn’t show until 9, which makes absolutely no sense. I mean, there’s late and then there’s LATE.

I stuck with Kelli the whole time we were there and met a number of Dan’s co-workers. Most of them spoke decent, if not excellent English and were very nice. By this time, I was on a downward spiral and about to fall out due to lack of sleep, but they understood. We left the party a little before 9 so we could hit the commissary on post so when I woke up I wouldn’t be starving without any food in the house.

By the time I got home it was probably around 930. I tried to get online, but my laptop was out of juice and I had to buy an adaptor so I could plug it in. I also realized I couldn’t use the hair dryer I brought so my hair “air-dried” this morning. Needless to say, it doesn’t work all that well…

I passed out on the couch reading my book and was barely able to get up to go brush my teeth.

Right before I went to bed, I realized how quiet it was and how alone I was and that’s when I had a mini-breakdown. It only lasted about 5 minutes, but the stress hit me and I had to cry it out. All I could think was, what the hell have I done?

Fortunately, my inner Jen told the emotional Jen to shut the hell up and to be more positive. I read my book to get my mind off of everything and then I passed out.

I woke up around 8 this morning because I had fallen asleep with the light on and I thought it was about 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I was able to shut the light off and sleep for another four hours. Then I made myself get up so I would be ready for Kelli and Dan.

They picked me up close to 1 and we went to Mama Rosa’s (their favorite Italian place) for lunch. We sat outside on the deck and watched tennis. There were three courts right in front of us with club players getting their game on. They were really dedicated and played through the freak hail storm we had in the middle of lunch. Ah and I had a beer :) and a Mama Rosa pizza, which is authentic Italian pizza and absolutely delicious.

Afterward, we went to the PX where I could buy things like hangers and phone cards and then back to the commissary for more food shopping. I also ran into Natasha from DINFOS at the PX which is so random! I was so glad to see another friendly face though and we agreed to have dinner in the near future.

I also called my new boss to let him know I was alive. He is going to pick me up tomorrow for work - yay!

That’s pretty much my weekend in a really long email – sorry! I think one of the most difficult things is the language. I’ve never heard anything like it and it’s really hard to imitate. I’m getting by on the basics – please, thank you, good bye. I’m definitely going to need to take classes. This is hard.

Cheers,
Jen